Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I asked for a divorce.
I have a clear-cut indication I can't be happy. The emotional stuff might be fixed with a TON of work...the profound sexual mismatch, no, not in a million years of trying.
We're both hurting each other, bending ourselves into pretzels trying to make this work. I hurt, I hurt tons...
A friend of mine said..."You just need to be loved." I do. With her I have to do things *just right* to get crumbs of affection, crumbs of sex, I almost always feel lonely, I almost always feel not good enough.
I could not take it any more.
Last year I went through a serious amount of childhood abuse trauma coming back to me...so I'm used to my brain turning into a potato. I'm in the spud-zone again...
...Funny I keep coming up with such starchy metaphors.
I'm just going to take it easy this week and procrastinate my butt off, no apologies for this, I can barely handle work and house stuff and whatnot...well, I might get my motorbike to the shop this week (the poor thing!)
I'm just gonna make art and breathe and swap bedrooms...
Oh...I should mention divorce is gonna be really legally fun, and costly-not in ways I can talk about.
Also, she's broke right now...so I'm not making her get out. I don't hate her. I feel guilty enough about abandoning her. We've been living in my mom's old trailer-house, I am fine with sharing the rent-free goodness and continuing to split the bills. I'm going to buy her an air-conditioner for her bedroom, then we're good to go.
I have a clear-cut indication I can't be happy. The emotional stuff might be fixed with a TON of work...the profound sexual mismatch, no, not in a million years of trying.
We're both hurting each other, bending ourselves into pretzels trying to make this work. I hurt, I hurt tons...
A friend of mine said..."You just need to be loved." I do. With her I have to do things *just right* to get crumbs of affection, crumbs of sex, I almost always feel lonely, I almost always feel not good enough.
I could not take it any more.
Last year I went through a serious amount of childhood abuse trauma coming back to me...so I'm used to my brain turning into a potato. I'm in the spud-zone again...
...Funny I keep coming up with such starchy metaphors.
I'm just going to take it easy this week and procrastinate my butt off, no apologies for this, I can barely handle work and house stuff and whatnot...well, I might get my motorbike to the shop this week (the poor thing!)
I'm just gonna make art and breathe and swap bedrooms...
Oh...I should mention divorce is gonna be really legally fun, and costly-not in ways I can talk about.
Also, she's broke right now...so I'm not making her get out. I don't hate her. I feel guilty enough about abandoning her. We've been living in my mom's old trailer-house, I am fine with sharing the rent-free goodness and continuing to split the bills. I'm going to buy her an air-conditioner for her bedroom, then we're good to go.
Pretzels is a good metaphor.
He tried - and when I look back I can see he did - but he never tried looking inside to deal with his issues - it was always on me. Eventually it was just easier for him to walk away from someone (me) who loved him deeply than it was to face his inner demons.
Do procrastinate this week. Take care of you. Get into some counseling (I am on several lists around my area for free counseling for those with no insurance - and I know (I am a rape survivor) that local crisis centers will be more than willing to help out with searching for counseling for you) -
breathe.
You are definitely not alone - unfortunately, not by a long shot.
I am sorry for what you are going through - what you have been through. Bravo for having the courage to face it.
xoxo
But I can't imagine continuing to live together. I hope that will resolve itself somehow.
I like the starchy metaphors.
horrible
and whats worse is to ask for something so bsic from the partner you love
and keep asking
and nothing comes
painful
and ILR is right
lonely
it sounds like a divorce is the much better option
and that you both might be better matched wirth someone else
so sad, when you love one another and it just cant work
((hugs))