Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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NotiNabor 09/21/2013

What should I do to prepare? I think we're over, and I'm not sure I want to fight any more. Yes we have kids involved (7&9).

I've read print all the finance statements. Also don't leave the house for custody reasons.

Anything I can start to do to prepare the kids? Other things?

thanks for the help!

deleted_user 09/21/2013

See a lawyer for a free consultation to find out what your rights are and what you may be entitled to. And also what you will have to go through. Knowledge is power. Also get a good job if you don't already have one. Being self-sufficient is the best way to exit a marriage.

deleted_user 09/21/2013

Cheryt's advice is sound, find a couseler as well, you are going to need to talk things out and understand your feelings and feelings yet to come.

JennsJo 09/22/2013

Why is leaving the house a bad idea?? : ( Im in same situation as you! I dont wanna fight anymore with him! Im pretty much done.. we should chat.. maybe we could listen to one another : )

NotiNabor 09/22/2013

I was really hoping to avoid lawyers, but that's a good point about getting educated on my rights. I think every state is different too (TX here)

I do have a good career, actually make more than he does, so I might end up having to pay him a little. I'm a little worried about the financial split, but I know we both are self sufficient, so as long as neither of us goes off the deep end on a spending spree or something it should be okay.

I'm most worried about the kids and custody. He's a great father, and I actually want the kids to continue to have a great relationship with him, but I can't bear the thought of possibly losing custody. If I'm the one ending it, especially if I'm the one that moves out, doesn't that give him the advantage on custody? That's like abandoning the kids, I just can't do it.

He gave me an ultimatum the other day, either I need to change or we need to be through. Now he's backtracking and trying to make up. I do love him, but I'm just fed up with it all. I don't have any desire to change who I am, I think I'm a pretty good person. He is too, just has no confidence in who he is. Has always thought I was going to leave him... and guess what, if you tell a person that enough times over 18 years, eventually you push them away enough that they just want to give up and leave. Sigh. I'm not really ready for the emotional roller coaster to come though.

Okay - so how to you find a divorce lawyer to consult? What about a counselor?

What about friends? I'm realizing that pretty much all of our friends are other couples that are friends with both of us. I don't really have any girl friends. I've had a few guy friends over the years (my occupation is male dominated) but those always got too threatening to my hubby so I couldn't really be close with any of them.

JennsJo - happy to chat any time, I'm not really sure how to on here

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