Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hello Everyone,
I met my ex-fiance last year on a dating site. He was everything I wanted in man. At least that is what I thought. He was romantic and charming. I knew he baggage and so did I. We both came into this relationship with a kid. He filled my head that he wanted to get married and have a family to call his own, and of course I believed him. I believe a couple months down the road we end up moving in together. I did not know he was unable to hold a job. Every since we moved into his new place together he was unable to keep a job. Eventually the bills fell on me. Months later we end of getting engaged shortly after moving in together. I just thought since we are building our family I needed to step up and hold my man down while he has fallen on hard times. At the beginning of this year we found out I was pregnant. He got so upset and tried to force me to get an abortion. He said he was not ready for a baby because at the time he did not have a job. I was puzzled. Within these 6 months my ex has moved out of our house to go live with his mother because he says things got to stressful living together. Keep in mind we have a place together and recently bought a new car together. I was so hurt the last time he left. He took everything with him. Dishes, sheets he bought, really petty stuff, but most importantly our car. I am 7 months pregnant and we have been going through a lot since I have found out I was preggo. He could not handle me being emotional all the time so he decided to leave me. I am left with no car and to pay the bills we were suppose to split. I am so hurt and alone. I feel so ashamed. I have had thoughts about giving my baby up for adoption because of this man. I am not financially stable to take care of another baby. But it will hurt me to have to give her up. Please I need prayers.
Please pray for me and my situation!!!!!
I call it the difference between a wish and a commitment. He probably did (does) want a family, a job, a white picket fence, and a dog. Making it happen is a whole different story.
You can stay with him and support him, pay for everything, do all of the chores, and organize/plan it all....or you can realize that you made some bad decisions and need to get your life in order, because you've got someone else who will soon be depending on you.
You need to contact your state and get the information that you need to file for child support. Some states will even allow you to get support while pregnant. Get information on what your options are. You've got plenty of time to think about adoption, it's not a decision that needs to be made before or at birth. If your name is on the title of the car or you can show that you've put money towards it...you should be able to get that money back.
HUGS, hugs, hugs. If you want to feel ashamed...do so...for 5 minutes or an hour or so. Then get over it (I know, easier said than done...get over it anyway.) The greater shame is his in abandoning his child. YOU aren't considering doing that (making plans for the birth or even adoption are NOT abandonment).
You CAN do this. Patti
A sign of strength not weakness. HUGS
I agree make some calls to the state, or visit some websites, their is a lot of help out there for single parents to help get you on your feet again.. swallow your pride for a moment.. and do what needs to be done to keep a roof over your head and food in your childrens mouths..
and count your many many blessings! you did not marry this piece of shit.. and he's showing you his true colors without you investing years and years of blind support. Keep your focus on you and your kids.. and dont look back, theres nothing to see back there but regret and heartache.. keep your eyes forward, and keep your head up.. you can do this, one step at a time..
keeping you in my prayers..
Court is never pleasant but seems very necessary in your situation.
I especially like what bluemoon2g said. You are stronger than you know. We all are so hold onto that FACT.
This is a quote I came up with awhile back when I was basically talking myself through a rough patch. A few people have found it helpful and I hope you do as well.
Leave the past where it is, behind you. The future does not exist nor should any of your attention to it.
To simplify it, just take care of what is in front of you right this second. Stay in the moment.
Do not dwell in the past or try and predict the future. Doing either of those things is the exact recipe for suffering.
If you are feeling any negative emotion it is because you are in the past or the future every single time.
It is a very simple concept but not always so easy to do. You will get better at it the more you practice.
I will not wish you good luck because you do not need luck. You need a plan and perseverance which is well within your means.
Best,
Rich