Probably, but you should remember why you were incompatible in the first place. If you have moved on, stay that way!

One of my favorite quotes is:

"When your past calls, dont answer. It has nothing new to say."

I would not be concerned with whether or not he Is trying to win you back. Focus on what lead to the divorce and think about whether or not you can be happy with him if he decides he wants to reconcile. Truthfully, I would not have given him the time and day. There is a reason why you responded to him. Think about it.

If you've already moved on, and are happy where you are do you REALLY want to have to go thru that process again? My guess is his alternative plans didn't quite workout how he thought, and he thinks he can win you back. I wouldn't even entertain his nonsense.

I saw this quote yesterday:

"Your Ex asking to be friends after a break up is like kidnappers asking to 'keep in touch' after letting you go."

If you've really moved on, his intentions shouldn't matter.

Beware of him wanting to use you as interim while he's waiting to see whether his other relationship (s) are going to pan out or not . Yes , they can stoop so low ! My ex 'tried' that on me a few times during our seperation. I used his visits as a kind of crash course on what bullcrap looks like . I never want to forget what it looks like ever again . Tuition was sky high !

Reconnecting after a divorce isn't uncommon.

The red flag is "messy divorce".


If I had to guess, he's been in a relationship after you, and that that relationship has now ended. Grass turned out to be not quite as green as he'd hoped.

I'd wish him luck and move on...

I have a different view on this, although no idea if my view is the right view. ultimatly what ever feels right for you is really the answer...

Im not divorced yet, but my wife wants one and we have been seperated for months now, I am miserable without her, I am in love with her and want my family whole. Just had to state this as its probably the leading reason my opinion is different then others. You got married for reasons only you know, you also divorced for reasons only you know.. what has happened inbetween weather it was another women or not doesn't matter. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder, sometimes it doesn't. you dont have to jump back in to a full on marriage and family right away with him, but taking it slow, and giving it time to blossem again isn't such a terrirble idea. You dont know what the future holds, and although it may not be any better, it also can be worlds better. This could be a great time to recommite and use your past as a learning opportunity for you both to grow your marriage into something better then you ever dreamed. I dont know your circumstances, so if abuse and affairs are the reasons to divorce that makes things pretty hard to over come and may not be possible. But if it was just your hearts dieing out for each other, id give it a shot. my wife and I didn't have anything bad happen, we had kids and life got tough, she decicded marriage and famly fulltime wasn't for her, its broken my heart and my family and i pray for her return. I wish I had the chance to grow from this with her, for now i have to try to grow from it alone. Second chances dont come often, If you somewhere in your heart have feelings for him, and remember all the good times you had, hold on those and see if they can grow... they may not, but you wont know till you try.... Either direction you choose is the right one for you, I wish you all the luck in the world either way. Just my opinion.

I am just curious. Do you two have children? Strangly, people who divorce later become better friends.

I have children with my ex H so we communicate. He did apologized for the hurt and he recognized his mistakes, he has never tried to win me back nor do I want him too but I think he has mature from the experience. He failed me as a husband (he cheated twice) and the emotional pain was unbearable but I healed and today we are friends and get a long very well and as a friend he always helps me on what he can. Maybe your ex is understanding his mistakes, your pain. If tries to win you back it would up to you to know if you can trust him or he can make you happy again.
Best of luck!

Thanks for all your replies.
@kenjb47: After 2 years of processing what went wrong, I came to the conclusion that it was a wrong timing for us. We were both struggling with our careers. We were on long distance with unstable jobs. We moved a lot and the conflicts escalated. Trust issues emerged. He said fear overtook him that he will lose his resolve and lose his job. I have moved on with my life and accepted my lose.

@ALD13072: I was curious and since we didn't talk for such a long, I thought it would be good to know his side of the story.

@Aries1958: I have learned to live without him and I dont think it is easy for me to accomodate him back.

@LamarWILSON: You may be right. But I do feel good that he is back begging me to communicate with him after dumping me. :-)

@Missy73: 1 year before I would have ignored him because I hated him. But I just feel neutral about it now.

@RossHomes: It can be but I really dont feel anything even if it would be the case.

@patti22: if he had a relationship, I dont know but it would be the case, I think highly unlikely that I would accept him in the foreseeable future. I am now dating other people. Although nothing serious, Im truly not investing anymore in possible reconciliation.

@ESL12: Good for you. One year ago, there would have been a possibility for reconciliation before the divorce. But who knows what will happen.

@Robert1001: No we dont have children. Marriage last only for 3 years.

@playerapr: He said he did not mean to hurt me. He regrets the divorce. I dont know how to react. I feel neutral. Im happy Im emotionally stable.