Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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diemjs 02/04/2008

Get a note from my soon to be 7 year old. This is EXACTLY what it says...

to Mommy, I want you 2 get bak to gethr and i want to be a famly. love, E

isnt that just the cats meow? Kick me while Im down! Damn!

She cried, I told her I know. She told me she hates her ilfe, she liked living here with Grandma in the begining, but not so much any more. She wants to be a family again. She doesnt want to go back and forth any more. I told her things will be ok. It isnt just up to me any more, and that I still loved her daddy, but things were different now. I also told her I wished the same things, but that we will be ok and we are a family, just not living in the same house.

Any other good things to tell her?

I told her how lucky she was that she had a nice room, with a nice bed, and a nice house to live in, and that so many people loved her...and on and on.

Then she found out the Goofy Movie was on and went to bed to watch it. She was better, but not fully ok.

What do I do?

deleted_user 02/04/2008

Big hugs to you and your daughter. Wow, that is so tough. You did the right thing, there isn't much else to do. But just reasuring her of the love. I have my 10 year old going to a counselor. She doesn't talk about it with any of us, she just says she doesn't like to think about it. I remember when she was little asking me if daddy and I would ever get a divorce and promising her nothing like that would ever happen. She just had so many friends at school whose parents were divorced.

diemjs 02/04/2008

Funny Phoenix, my daughter says the same thing, I dont want to talk about it.
Good luck to you and thanks for your response

deleted_user 02/04/2008

You did exactly what you needed to . You listened, validated her feelings and told her her parents love her.

deleted_user 02/04/2008

I'm sorry--I know this is heartbreaking. My therapist told me to assure my son that both his dad and I love him very much and that he had not "caused" the divorce. Listen to her and validate her feelings. Consider counseling for her, and you, as well.

deleted_user 02/04/2008

Does the school she attend have a social worker? Most public schools and many private/charter schools do. If so call and speak to this person. As a trained professional they may be able to give you some guidance and offer your child some "light" counseling. This is a service you are already paying for (either in tax dollars or tuition).

Please don't laugh, my son's first few years of school were on military bases, where access by the general public is severely restricted. We moved and the public school had "officer friendly" come in and talk about "dangerous strangers"..it scared my son badly! The schools social worker took a bit of time talking to me, and then to my son, to help him get over his sudden fear of "strangers". I'm sure they could help your child, you too!

deleted_user 02/04/2008

You sound like such a strong great mom and your kids are lucky to have you.

deleted_user 02/04/2008

Hugs to you and your daughter. Those poor kids get the short end every time in a divorce.

diemjs 02/04/2008

Courier...yea, the school has a counselor, who is going to start a new group for divorced kids only, soon.
And hoping, that was a very kind and thoughtful thing to say. Thank you

Thank you all.

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