Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
i am still in love with my ex after 7 months of us breaking up. i cant move on or anything. our breakup was awful and its still so hard to think about it. he recently started contacting me again and i was so happy. but he used me to get what he wanted. i believed him and that he rlly did want to work it out. he told me that he cared ab me and that he promised that he wouldnt use me. he told me that if we both changed our ways then we could be together again. i promised that i would be who he wanted even after all the hell he put me through & i still want him back. he knew i was still in love with him and would give anything to have him back. but he used me to get things he wanted and now hes gone. he promised that he wanted to work things out and understood how bad he hurt me and wanted to fix it but he used me. now hes gone. and it hurts so much more than i can begin to describe. i feel completely empty and broken. i cant move on. i only want him and him doing this tore me apart and i cant seem to get any better. i feel like im only getting worse.
I also know what you don't want to hear - that it is going to get better; that you will be better (for this experience). Hearing that it will get better cures no wounds; knowing that time heals brings no immediate relief. The pain must feel physical.
Emptiness as an emotion says a lot - including how much you 'made' the person mean to you. Right or wrong, the fact is, that is the life you came to knew, to love and when it's gone you tend to forget that there was a life before. Try to remember it.
Lastly, I want to make note that in your account, two words/concepts kept coming up: he put you through hell and he used you. Surely there's a reason you feel that way.
Love yourself a bit more Merl, just a lil bit more. You are worth it. Work on being a better Merl so that when the next person comes along, you will be ready.
Hang in there. Trust me, I know it is easier said than done, but hang in there. You'll be fine.
Touch base if you find the need/desire.
All the best
The first go around he did it to you. The second go around, you did it to yourself. You see, he showed you want kind of person he was the first go around. That would have been enough for a more mature person to see that when he came crawling back he was probably just spewing whatever BS you needed to hear to get what he wanted.
You are young and not experienced in dealing with manipulators, so you fell it all over again. You're right, it does hurt more the second time. That's because you're dealing with the fact that it didn't need to happen that second time.
Moral of the story is:
You're really young.
You got taken advantage of by an ass hat.
You learned that when someone proves their an ass, don't let them trick you into round two.
Move on to bigger and better things. Enjoy your new relationships and don't fall for people who manipulate you. Just put this behind you and forget about him. He wasn't worth the time you gave him, much less more time grieving over him. Geesh, enough is enough!