How were you served divorce papers? What do you wish happened, if it differed from what happened?
I mean, is there really a good way to ever enter into a divorce? Hell no. I'm the one who is leaving/left (moved out to moms Feb 2014, then started renting a home nearby marital home in May 2016) and I've given this 3+ years of time and consideration and I know I'm done & he is not changing and can't change - we are who we are. I have 2 young children and hate this all for them, too.
I just would like to hear from you all. I feel like I'm finally taking a step ahead, but he makes terrible threats to me if I do file which has caused me to delay this all out of fear. He sadly believes his life will be over and he will have nothing to live for (I guess he forgot he has 2 awesome little people who look up to him) so he will not have any regrets taking people out with him ((not me or kids) but the man I started seeing when he originall agreed to the divorce earlier this year (but has since retracked once he found out I was seeing someone - as he believes if he cannot have me no one can))). <--ha sorry I'm trying to be brief but as we all know our stories are full of details.
So yes, I wasn't divorced yet, and I was out of the house and we agreed we were filing for divorce amicably. I do not consider it cheating but this particular issue has set him over the edge and he doesn't want to get divorced because he wants the chance that I gave this new man (whom I've been friends with for 2 years so it wasn't just some random man I considered to be a future companion). It will be the 15 yr anniversay next week; together 22 years. He is 43. I am 37. Kids are 6 & 10. He is also bi-polar (not that i want it to define him but it plays a very huge issue in his behavior i think.)
Okay I'm done, as I can write a book. Your experiences or what you feel and share are totally appreciated. I know we all feel wronged in some way and it's why were are here. Thank you!
I am at a better place with my ex and his wife than I have ever been. I can actually have a conversation with him on the phone and keep my cool. When either one of them does something annoying I just do an eyeroll, chalk it up to them being them, and move on with my life. What I'm struggling with is the double identity crisis. Years ago I went to going away party for my mother when she...
This is a link by Darlene Lancer https://www.whatiscodependency.com/trauma-abuse-breakups-divorce-ptsd/#more-13463 about abusive relationships and moving forward.After reading this and speaking to my therapist by phone today, as I progress through the begining of trauma work I'm finding that this article speaks to 'me codependent' to what I hope to achieve Some Day as 'Me, healed of...