First I would like to say I appreciate this board and all the posts and responses. After 24 years of marriage my wife told me 3 months ago she no longer loved me and was going to move out. The worst day of my life. Looking back all the signs were there, the last 4 years have really been just going through the motions. We have a 17 year old daughter that lives with me now, and I have a 26 year old stepson (her biological son) that is the pride and joy of my life along with our daughter. I raised him since he was 2, I am his Dad, no discussion. Anyways, she wanted to still live in the house after she told me this, and I agreed. After 3 weeks she was totally committed to leaving and the situation was just untenable at home. I was trying to do anything to convince her to stay, but it was hopeless. Her mother lives 2 miles away, so the next Monday I told her to please move out to her moms and we will deal with the material things later. I just couldn't take it, she would leave on Friday and come back Sunday night after doing God knows what and with who. She always said she was just with friends but I had no way of knowing. She complied and moved out. During the next 2 1/2 months I have stayed determined in my new outlook on life. I have lost over 40 pounds, feel great physically, I have re-taken up golf, something I haven't done for over 20 years and enjoyed 18 holes with my son last weekend. I hit the gym religiously and always make some effort to "break a sweat" every day, either workouts, yard work, jumbo bucket of balls, anything to keep occupied and get in shape. At first my intention was to win her back, but that was so not going to happen now I want to do it for ME. The jeans I used to struggle to button before she left are now too big. I almost teared up with joy when I put them on this am. Anyways, last weekend she signed a one year lease on a condo. This was kind of good for me in my head, because it meant closure. I could move on and get all notions of reconciliation from entering my skull, and look forward to meeting someone new one day (Definitely not now, no where near ready for that)
Ok, thats the background. Heres where I need insight. A couple weeks ago we talked on the phone about her getting some more stuff out of the house. At first I told her our daughter could bring it to her, but she wanted to go through closets and what not. I had let her do this once before, she had access to 2 trucks and spent about 4-5 hours getting things packed and moved while I was at my brothers (didnt want to be there for that). I told her fine, she came yesterday while I was at the gym. Should be done, I was stressing the hell out of her being in the house again, not sure why...nothing to hide, its just her presence here. During our phone call I choked up a couple times, as did she. She told me to think of the good times and I told her that makes it worse for me. We tearfully said goodbye, I took a breath and thats that. She came yesterday, got more stuff..done deal. I came home and was RELIEVED. Finally over where I can focus on recovery. Hadnt talked to her at all for several days, its been tough but I am getting there. (I smoked some weed a few days ago, I do NOT recommend this if you are depressed. That was hell). Anyways I am at work today and POP here comes an email from her talking about a song she is hearing on the radio reminds her of this funny dance my brother did and she couldnt stop laughing YADA YADA YADA..my ???? is WHY did she do this? Why?? Why in Gods name when I told her thinking of the good times hurts like hell?? My first response when I saw her email pop in was of course my heart stopped. I feel like I took a gigantic step backwards. I know deep down I do not want to respond. If I do, I will be waiting for her response and it just ends a stupid cycle of checking emails, rechecking rechecking..We are in our 4th month now of when she broke up with me. I understand we have kids together, but I just need SPACE. I need to not talk to her unless it has to do with the kids, and they are old enough to tell me themselves. WHY WOULD SHE EMAIL ME THIS NONSENSE ABOUT SOME SONG?? THIS IS INSANE TO ME! I am still tormented, is she that happy she can just email me this BS and expect to have a friendly chat??? Any insight would be really appreciated, sorry this is so long but I wanted to get the background out there... I hope you all are getting through the personal hell a breakup can be, I want to focus on the future and find people who WANT to be with ME :)