Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Why is it that I cant let go of my feelings for my STBX wife, and that whenever I remember her infidelity it still hurts?
Even though I been separated from her almost 6 months, and that I know it is over, why is it that still hurts very much every time I remember her been with another man, and more that she got pregnant and if that wasnt enough she got an abortion after 5 weeks pregnant, why did she told me that ? Why ? The only thing that caused in me was a total destruction of myself, and I struggle everyday with depression and the feelings of giving up on life, but my kids (02) keep me here.
I am honestly trying to move on and keep moving forward, but it still hurts like hell, when I remember everything she did, and I cant seem to let go of the images on my mind that generate even though I didnt actually saw her, but just the thought and images that keep popping in my mind, are destroying my sanity; I believe that she told me and let me know what she did just to hurt me and destroy me, well she did!
How can you get on with your life when:
A) I still love her (I know its sick) but I still do and that hurts like hell;
b) Theres a part of me that still thinks an really believes that somehow shes going to come back to me and tell me that she was wrong and that its me she loves, and that she will do everything in her to make things work out which obviously will never happen since she told me over and over again that she doesnt love me anymore and that shes been with that other man and that we should file the divorce papers as soon as possible;
C) The memories of 10 years of your life and future destroy that I cant seem to accept, those feelings that I will never find another woman that I like some much (physically, intellectually and romantically) as I did my wife;
D) That every time I see her when I pick up my kids I realize that I still have strong feelings for her and summon that she drives me nuts physically, makes it really hard for me, even though I try to ignore her an be indifferent when I see her, but the truth is that I still miss her a lot every day, I miss my old life and I miss my house, my family.
Can you please help me how can I stop hurting and move on with my life without this pain and sorrow that I have ? thanks all !
Even though I been separated from her almost 6 months, and that I know it is over, why is it that still hurts very much every time I remember her been with another man, and more that she got pregnant and if that wasnt enough she got an abortion after 5 weeks pregnant, why did she told me that ? Why ? The only thing that caused in me was a total destruction of myself, and I struggle everyday with depression and the feelings of giving up on life, but my kids (02) keep me here.
I am honestly trying to move on and keep moving forward, but it still hurts like hell, when I remember everything she did, and I cant seem to let go of the images on my mind that generate even though I didnt actually saw her, but just the thought and images that keep popping in my mind, are destroying my sanity; I believe that she told me and let me know what she did just to hurt me and destroy me, well she did!
How can you get on with your life when:
A) I still love her (I know its sick) but I still do and that hurts like hell;
b) Theres a part of me that still thinks an really believes that somehow shes going to come back to me and tell me that she was wrong and that its me she loves, and that she will do everything in her to make things work out which obviously will never happen since she told me over and over again that she doesnt love me anymore and that shes been with that other man and that we should file the divorce papers as soon as possible;
C) The memories of 10 years of your life and future destroy that I cant seem to accept, those feelings that I will never find another woman that I like some much (physically, intellectually and romantically) as I did my wife;
D) That every time I see her when I pick up my kids I realize that I still have strong feelings for her and summon that she drives me nuts physically, makes it really hard for me, even though I try to ignore her an be indifferent when I see her, but the truth is that I still miss her a lot every day, I miss my old life and I miss my house, my family.
Can you please help me how can I stop hurting and move on with my life without this pain and sorrow that I have ? thanks all !
It's going to take work on your part and time to heal. Just don't let her see your pain. I think that some damaged individuals actually get off on that. Knowing that they control you and you can only suffer without them.
Spend more time with your friends, or look up old ones you haven't spoken to. Take up the old hobbies you had, I know I dropped quite a few spend time on my wife.
And most importantly, clean the house. For me, nothing made me feel more better (since she was the one who made it that way) than cleaning and reorganizing my home.
OMG... You and I should talk! I know the feelings all too well. If you are interested, write back and we can exchange strories and possibly help eachother through this undeserving pain!
Your friend
Jim
I am in the same situation. It has been 8 months for me since we separated. I don't think the pain will ever go away. I don't even think I can ever move on with my life. Like you said, sometimes I just feel like ending my life but if I do who will take care my 2 kids? I struggle everyday with depression. I have no energy to anything. I think my children are the ones keeping me from giving up my life. Are you seeing a therapy? It helps a little bit for me, Anyway we have to be strong for our children. (((hug)))
The pain is real and it's normal. You will get better I can guarantee that. I have been there and in the 8 months I have had my good days and bad. I now have more good than bad. I felt everything you are but when I felt like that I would look at my life right now at how I do not have to worry anymore about the mistrust and the hurt he inflicted on me. I am in control of my emotions. I would simply change my mind set and keep busy. It is by far one of hardest things I could ever experience or try to explain the depth of the pain I went through but I know that it was something that happned to me but it is not who I am. I have loved, lost, learned and now I am living the life I dreamed of growing up. I will take my experience and knowledge and move past this a better person. You can message me if you like as others have offered. We are all here for each other. Take care.
Good advice you received here..
There will come a day when you won't picture her with another man and you won't long for her or the life you two shared. It takes a long time, sorry to say, and 6 months is still fresh.
the world is full of intelligent and beautiful women besides the STBX, who are looking for a decent man such as yourself. Some day you may even have one that treats you with the respect you obviously haven't enjoyed with this one.
Since your comments, I been feeling a lot better and I promise I will contact everyone personally to have a long chat, thank you all, it really helps to feel and been with others that
I have gone through a half a dozen until I have found a good one that works. The one I am with now isn't covered under my insurance, so I pay out of pocket. I think she's just that good.
If your therapist isn't helping, find another. Go through as many as you need to. A good therapist can help you in SOOOOO many ways.