You haven't ruined your life. Exactly the opposite. The new guy made you realize that the old guy wasn't a perfect fit for you. In that regard, he did you a big favor. Now, as it turns out, the new guy isn't a perfect fit for you, either. (Which is just as well, because he sounds like a total asshole). This is not "trouble." This is an opportunity!

Why am I so hurt by this though? I haven’t ate all day. I can’t function. I’ve been in bed all day..

You're hurt because you've been rejected. Being rejected sucks, no doubt about it. Worse, you gambled your relationship with the first guy, and lost. But you can't let yourself get sucked into overwhelming despair over it. Again, the new guy did you a favor, by showing you that the old guy wasn't perfect for you. This is a temporary bump in the road. Better things ahead.

Get out of bed, go make a PB&J, and then go for a walk.

We work together tomorrow (we’re coworkers, that’s how we met). I just feel like I want closure from him to be able to move on. I assumed he was in a relationship today and texted him saying he’s lying. He hasn’t responded to my texts since and it hurts. How do I approach him tomorrow?

You haven't given a lot of specifics, so I don't have a lot to work with. Did you have sex with Guy #2? How old are you? Are you just "coworkers" or is one of you more senior than the other?

Stop texting him and stop looking for texts from him. STOP. Checking your phone every 9 seconds is an addiction.

Most important: Did you make the PB&J, yet?

Sorry, here’s the story. I’ve honestly been on a literal emotional roller coaster for a month max. This emotional coaster was caused by me becoming interested in new guy. I started crushing on him and then got subtle clues he may like me. Then I started thinking “no he doesn’t like you, there’s not enough evidence” disappointment. Then, he keeps coming back to talk to me at work and I get giddy. Cue uplifted spirit. Repeat. Finally, after wondering for weeks if he liked me, I heard he was apparently talking to someone else. Cue another round of disappointment and hurt. This prompted me to tell him I liked him. He tells me he’s liked me for months. Cue ecstatic emotion. He then invites me over to his place and we kinda cuddle in a small way. No sex. No kissing. Now, problem. We both had known he was moving states VERY soon, but him inviting me over gave me hope that he wanted a relationship with me. I then see a girl message him on his phone which prompts a conversation about who she is and where I stand in his life: I ask, am I just a fling? Where is this going? Turns out he doesn’t. He says he wishes we met sooner or he’d stay. He says he can’t be in a relationship because he needs to focus on himself and get into med school to become a surgeon. He basically said he wants to be single for 12 years. I just don’t understand? Why lead me on bringing my hopes up? He said he just got into his emotions which is why he invited me over. I just hate this. I texted him today saying “why are you lying to me? You’re in a relationship with that girl. I saw on Facebook.” Turns out he isn’t and since I said that to him, he hasn’t responded to my texts. It just hurts so much because it seems he doesn’t give a shit.

Lemme get this straight: You were at his place once, didn't even kiss, and then had a conversation about "Where do I stand in your life, where is this going, and am I just a fling." Then you got into a snit over a text he got from some other girl. And now you can't get out of bed.

I gotta push back on you a little here, and be honest: Candidly, the image I'm getting is that you are projecting as entirely too needy and clingy. That is not an attractive look.

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference." Elie Wiesel. And if there's one thing that guys hate, it's having a woman be totally indifferent to them. So, I recommend that you go into work tomorrow, and be just as normal and professional as can be. Don't ignore the guy, just... be indifferent to him.

You’re definitely right. I’m needy and I noticed it. I’ve always been prone to being overly hurt by a guy. I dont know why. Maybe this guy is a cue for me to be single. I’m 25, it kinda scares me to be single because before you know it you’re 30 then 40. Also, we hung out twice and talked a bit before, but that still doesn’t give a good excuse for me to be acting so clingy. I need to learn to not be clingy. Why am I clingy? It’s probavly because I think I need a man in my life in order to be fulfilled. I have to completely relearn how I approach life. This is going to be the biggest shock of my life considering I was so happy most my 20s...and now I got to seemingly start over again.

Also, I’m sorry I didn’t think to mention it...but since I knew it was goodbye, I asked him if he wanted to kiss me. He did and it was wonderful..the way he grabbed my face and held me was so bittersweet. It was a feeling of “I like you, but I know this cannot be” type kiss.

Have you tried therapy? I recommend it.

Bear in mind, the issue isn't that you feel most comfortable and happy when you are in a relationship. There's a lot to be said for monogamy, and perhaps you're a serial monogamist. (How many boyfriends have you had?). And some people experience and express emotions in much stronger, more intense ways. That's all good. However, it seems that your insecurities and neediness tend to overwhelm your ability to measure and control your reactions to certain situations. You respond in ways that are disproportionate to the circumstances which trigger your response.

The good news is that, yes, you can "relearn" how to deal with these situations in more productive ways.

Why didn't you think to mention that you had kissed? That's a pretty significant detail to overlook.

I guess I didn’t mention it because it was a goodbye kiss. And also I’ve only had 2 boyfriends in my life. The second was short lived and not extremely serious. The first was the longest...lasted from 17 years of age to 25 with a 2 year gap.

hey there mixedxemotions, it does sound like your heart is on a roller coaster!

I just want to encourage you in this season of your life that you are single - it's just a season! You obviously want to eventually have a great and flourishing relationship, but have you considered it may be a good opportunity now coming out of a long relationship , that you can take time to pursue and grow yourself into who you want to be on your own before you add a man in the mix.

You are so loved and valued as a woman - I hope you can see too that you are precious and beautiful on your own!

Thank you so much, there are so many people offering their hand to me when I'm knocked down, even complete strangers.