Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am finding it SO HARD to play the game of being nice and staying "friends" until the divorce is final. So our divorce won't be final until September, and he wants to remain friends. I'm really uncomfortable with the whole friends idea, after all, he has cheated on me repeatedly. It seems to me he sought friendship or a connection elsewhere. Friends don't hurt each other like this. So I try to keep all of our communication about the kids or the business of our divorce and finances. He wants to text and see how I'm doing. He gets cranky and nasty when I say I don't want to communicate. I'm afraid that if I don't play his game that he'll take the uncontested divorce and turn it into an ugly fight. I don't want that. But I am finding it so hard to do the chit chat and be "friends." I'm sure I can hold it together for three months, but it is not easy. I'm tired of navigating his moods. I don't want to have to deal with his insecurities or whatever it is anymore. Anyone else go through this? What did you do to lessen the stress and make it bearable?
While I understand keeping the peace until the divorce is final (I had to do that too), once the divorce is final, you have no obligation to remain friends. Minimize the communication as you are doing. Do not respond to all of his texts or emails. If he says anything, tell him you are busy because you are a single mom now thanks to him.
Sending healing hugs.
Kind of like how you deal with a cranked up meth addict ,.. Don't draw their attention and stay the fuck away from them.
I see no honor in staying friends with someone that shit all over me.
I got a text this morning from my ex telling me about his nomination for a promotion at work. As though we're friends, or as though I'm still supposed to believe in him or have faith in him. Um no, you don't throw your wife and stepson in the trash and then three months later come looking for some emotional support or excitement. I did congratulate him, but did so only because last week's 3-day-long angry spell is not something I want to have repeated.
Civil but not friends is what I'm going for here. I only have 2 weeks left until NC.
Wishing you luck with this and sending hugs. You have strength that you don't know about until you need it.
They are so self absorbed they think they are doing you a favor by being friends just like they did you a favor by putting you at risk for stds
Friends??? No thanks, and I won't shake in that, I know where her filthy cheating hands have been
You are divorcing a totally different person from the one you married, before you got married you probably were friends, and you liked each other. If you still liked each other enough to be friends, you (we) probably would still be together.
This is only my opinion, based on my own experience with my ex. We talk to each other only if necessary, other than that we avoid each other to keep the peace.
You do YOU. If it makes yo uncomfortable, then don't be friendly.
It amazes me how afraid people can be that the other person will make things harder...I say, so what? I wouldn't sell a piece of my dignity to keep someone happy just in case they "turned it ugly."
Be you. Let him ask one of the people he cheated with how their day is.
all striving to achieve. Great points. I am beginning to finally get it. Why do i want to expend any effort or energy chatting with someone who left me and her daughter? I can see how someone on the outside
looking in would see that as crazy. She made her bed, let her deal with all the ripples that come with it. She insisted on getting a two bedroom apartment so our daughter would have a room there but she is 17 and has no interest spending the night there.
In fact my ex whined to me few weeks back how our daughter just wants to go home when she is there ..ummm DUH.