I do hope you are in therapy to help with
This. Leaving/divorcing a narc is never
going to be easy, never mind all the other
stuff that Goes along with that type of
relationship and all its emotional fallout.

If you have sex you stay emotionally attached
its hard To be or think detached if you are still
being sexual With him. HUGS

I know :-( but I've got to take it for what it is yes I fell for it but I'm not breaking my heart. I'm just angry & more determined than ever too move on for good. It's a set back but this will not beat me. He is a narcissist no doubt about it. I must learn from this!!!!

Sometimes it is hard not to believe their lies. Because, we are operating as normal people, who want to give and receive trust and love. It is SO hard when battling a narcissist, as they do not have the same mental or emotional wiring -- it is literally ALL about them, they will say and do anything to get what they want, to keep you on the line, etc. Don't beat yourself up - you fell for it, because you wanted to be able to believe that it was true, because, who says things like that if they aren't true??? It's happened in some form to EVERYone who has loved a narcissist, in some way, at some point.

There are things in my separation and divorce process that happened, and were revealed to me over time, that showed how truly devious and despicable my now-EX-h truly is. As painful as they are, I could either let them make me feel foolish or bad about myself. Or, what I chose to do, was to use them as markers and reminders, solid concrete examples of what a heartless selfish person he was, and what he was capable of. Any time in the past 3 years he's tried to work his BS sob stories or "you're so beautiful," "I've changed," etc crap on me, all I have to do is remember the garbage he put me through the last time I fell for those lines, and I just shut it off. It gets easier over time. So use this as a reminder to yourself of who he truly is. A reminder not to ever fall for it again. Don't feel bad, you are only human. It's his fault he manipulated you, not yours.

Honestly, the most effective way to stop falling for it is to go No Contact. If 100% no contact is not possible due to children, keep it to the bare minimum and only about necessary things for the kids. He should not have an inroad to you to tell you the things he's been telling you. It only prolongs your pain and delays your healing. And definitely counseling to help you heal. It will get better if you take the needed steps, and one day you'll be able to see right through his lines.
(((HUGS)))

It's definitely happened to me. It's hard. They know how to play with our emotions. Stay strong.

Ok so my stbx and I live together still. He filed, nothings final yet, and I was devastated, broken hearted. Its been awhile but I've decided finally I'm not going to walk around the house on egg shells, I understand this is happening and I've had my questions answered by him. There's still no reason (or anyone else) that we can't overcome but it's his loss. I've gained strength so again no egg shells. I'm staying true to me and I still make him smile and laugh and flirt as much as I want with him, why not? I'm beautiful and he'll regret his decision. He feels awkward but it doesn't stop him either. I've even said we don't have to but he continues. I know all situations are different all men are different. Stay strong, turn it around. Look what he's missing, you. Don't let him play the emotional game, be strong.

Thank you for your feedback I know I'm not on my own in being tricked but it doesn't make it ok. X

I just joined today and am so glad I came across your post.

I was in a similar position just stupider. I offered my body to him after he wanted a break up just because he said "I am so lost, i dunno what to do with my life, I'm going clubbing and just go fuck around" I was afraid that he contact STD so I offered to be his fuck buddy. I told him, once he found someone else/fuck someone else, stop fucking me. But he went on fucking two woman.. unprotected.. and I know of this months later, after he was wooing me and right after I decided to get back together with him.

I hope that using this plateform i get to know people who are in similar situation, people who moved on from it, and ultimately how they move on from it. I hope you do find comfort in knowing there are still love in this world, love from equally broken people who are there to read your story, who are willing to share with you their stories as well. **hugs**

It will not be easy but you WILL get better. Believe in yourself. :)