Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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kornboy85 10/04/2017

I'm afraid things will start getting personal at work. I'm a police officer and I have been answering calls involving domestic incidents or domestic violence. I will hear stories from female subjects where the male subjects has been too controlling to point they get physical. My friends, family, even my wife's family believes that the guy she is with is controlling and manipulative. And what my wife had told me before that the guy has a temper, I can't help but fear that my wife will be in danger. But I know that is no longer my burden as she has made her bed with this guy. I'm afraid that I may take it personal if it gets out of hand. I'm afraid that I will shoot out my mouth or get hands on if I go to domestic situation that would be too much for me. I try to calm myself down and everytime I do, I get constant headache.

plainferkeeps 10/04/2017

sounds like there are some trauma triggers for you friend. you should seek professional help in order to work out coping skills to help you with this. it will not go away if you dont let it out.

if you are a cop, you cannot act out in a crisis situation. domestic violence is not a joke, and it is your professionalism that can deescalate and keep the people involved safe.

Alovetolast 10/05/2017

I agree with plainferkeeps. I know it's hard; however, ask yourself these - do you really want to make things worst for yourself? Whats really your agenda..trying to give excuse yourself an excuse to be involved on your wife's life in hero mode? And if something happen, you'll be in a lose lose situation..worst because you're a cop. Just a thought.

bridgie101 10/05/2017

I wouldn't hold my breath. it's easy to see your ex wife as a victim you still have to protect, and paint yourself a picture of her being sucked in by some evil manipulator (why else would she have left you?) But she isn't, and she wasn't. More likely she's used him to leapfrog out of the marriage.

If she's got in with some guy she could just as easily be controlling him as him controlling her and you need to quell your natural but no longer appropriate protective responses. I really would not expect you to go to a callout involving your wife. I would consider that a conflict of interest and would expect someone else to be sent.

Just remember: she's a grown woman. If she asks for help, she can get help. You just need to walk away from this.

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