Nope, still haven't left him yet.  What the hell is wrong with me?  Had a small family dinner yesterday and he literally passed out on the couch.  I could tell halfway through the afternoon he was messed up.  He denied it, as usual.  I had to wake him up to leave.  Thankfully I got him out of there before anyone caught on but would have been nice to stay with my family a little longer.  He always ruins it... why did I think this was going to be any different?  He's been drunk and on something since yesterday.  He's such a liar.  He was actually too messed up tonight to remember to delete the messages with his "provider."  So I actually caught him this time.  Nevermind that we don't have the money to pay our mortgage that's due in 2 days... he bought drugs with what little money he made this month by selling a tool he doesn't use anymore. He hasn't worked in 12 years.  Didn't give the money to me to pay bills like he said he would.  Problem is, now I have to wait to confront him until he's sober and who knows when that will be.  The worst part is that he's over the top, annoyingly affectionate when he's messed up.  I've told him I want nothing to do with him when he's like this.  It's not cute or flirty... it's creepy and gross and unattractive.  But there's no reasoning with him.  He's never going to change.  And I'm too much of a p*ssy to do anything about it... like I have been for the last 12 years.  FML