Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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inpain 08/30/2017

My wife of 20 years decided a month ago that she needed a break from the stresses of life. She left her job and our family. She is returning to her job in a few weeks, but has said to me that she doesn't have the energy to work on our relationship and that she needs peace, happiness and fun in her life for the rest of her life. I have made mistakes in our relationship where I have put my job, my kids, and other things in front of our relationship. I have been really stressed because of work and kids. I haven't always cherished our relationship like I should have. I haven't always put her on a pedestal like she deserved. She has admittedly made mistakes as well. I am really struggling right now. Same symptoms as everyone else.....can't stay asleep, mind racing, no appetite, constant anxiety about the future. Our living arrangement is that we are week on week off inside the house. She stays with her parents and i stay with friends outside of the home. I am so thankful for my friends who are supportive and there to listen, but it does get exhausting telling the same story over and over when most of them have never been through this. I have a counselor that offers solid advice and he is telling me I'm stuck in purgatory right now, which is not a great place (she is not moving in a direction--most notably, healing the relationship).

I'm in so much pain from the guilt and uncertainty and the anxiety surrounding life. If anyone could offer encouragment, support or hope that has been through similar circumstance, I would greatly appreciate it.

Songbird2582 08/30/2017

I am so sorry for your pain and anxiety. I know how it feels and it is terrible. It is commendable that you sought counseling. It is one of the best things you can do for yourself. If your wife is willing to accept her contribution to the problems in your relationship, like you have done, then that is a good base to work from. May I suggest you see your doctor. I was prescribed a very low dose of an old time antidepressant that has a bit of a sedative effect. It was wonderful because it allowed me to get about 6 to 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep. It is not habit forming and did not keep me drowsy once I got up in the morning. Getting decent sleep helped me think more clearly and function better.

mtiger87 08/31/2017

Sometimes in all marriages, we go through rough patches which seem like there is no way out. I’m sorry that you and your wife, after 20 years of marriage, are struggling to find ways to fix yours. I think it’s important that you’ve had conversations where you’ve both admitted being flawed. I also think it’s important that you’re going through counseling. While this is good, it could be made better if she were to consider going through counseling too, preferably with you, but even for just her might be a positive and healthy step in the right direction.

My wife and I went through an extremely rough spot six years ago, and though it wasn’t fun, we did seek counseling which, in the end, helped us to recover our marriage. We are still married today. And, while there’s still problems from time to time, we know better now how to work through it.

I'm sorry with what you're going through, because your marriage of 20 years is a lot to just throw away. Maybe, if she’s up for counseling of any sort, you might consider a marriage retreat, or marriage intensive, which you can find more information about <a href= ”http://bit.ly/2avsgs6”> here </a>.

As for me, I can offer you prayers in hopes that your marriage can be restored to what you sound like you desire it to be. Take care. Keep us posted.

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