Yup, loveless marriage here, too. I find myslef to be sooo much less lonely since I decided to end the marriage. All of my expectations for reciprocated love and care from him have fallen to the floor. It was a burden and I'm glad to be rid of it. I've swept those expectations up and put them in the garbage. The garbage guys came today. With that burden gone, I have the emotional time and energy to invest in other people and activities more important to me.

I don't even think about other men, really, except when friends bring them up. I have no desire at this point to pursue anything with anyone. It's a fantasy I sometime indulge in, but in reality, I'm ok if it doesn't happen. I'll never ever in life be as lonely as I was while married. Never. At this point, that's awesome, as far as I'm concerned. Hang in there!

Thank you and I'm trying.

It's still so new for you. Be gentle with yourself.

Like I told my therapist this feels very raw right now.

I know this time in your life must be difficult for you with your husband wanting a divorce. I too have been divorced and wondered if I'd ever find love again after being married for almost twelve years. It took me about two years after my divorce to really heal and move on. During that time, I wasn't in any committed relationships. Instead, I focused on me and creating a new life. I learned a lot about myself during that two-year time and I got clear what was important to me to have in a relationship. I didn't want to attract the same emotional abusive relationship all over again. So, I did a lot of changing inside. My faith helped me to change. I knew I didn't have the strength to change on my own.

My change didn't happen over night but over time and about a year later, I finally met and, later married, my second husband. We've been married for almost twelve years now and we have a loving co-committed relationship and a good marriage. In all of this, I learned that a loving and strong marriage is possible if you're both committed and willing to do the work it takes .

It sounds like this is an opportunity for you to take time out for you; to heal, recover, and become clear with what you really want in life and in a relationship. There is a great support group called DivorceCare.org that I know to be helpful in the healing and recovery process after separation and divorce.

I hope this helped.
Blessings to you and your healing.

I believe that every relationship that we go through that doesn't work takes a piece of your heart. Every time a piece is taken out the heart finds a way to protect itself and make it whole again. Its not the same heart we started with and it has battle wounds but it still stands tall waiting for the cure. I believe when the right person comes along their heart and ours combine to fix itself back to where we first started. Right now is a very rough time for you, but when that lucky person finds you I know you will trust him with all your heart.

Divorce care addresses a lot of those issues.
We need to heal ourselves and our hearts will
Follow.

I am not ready to risk my heart just yet It will
know when its ready and i believe the right
Someone will appear.

Glad you are in therapy, many still go after The
divorce is final, transitioning is not so easy either.

I think the worse the marriage became the harder
It is to move thru so much self doubt, blame, shame
and Guilt that needs to be worked thru, HUGS