I think the next couple of months are going to be the hardest on you. Once you get moved and settle into a new job, find a therapist you feel comfortable with and spend some time talking it out. You might have to shop around, but once you have someone you can really relate to, then your anxiety will go way down. Knowing there are few problems that crop up during the week that you can't gain some clarity on by talking to your therapist is a kind of reassurance you can't get from your other relationships.

In the meanwhile, try to stay busy and try to stay away from places you went with your spouse. If you had a favorite restaurant or stores, just avoid going there cause it will trigger a bunch of emotions you are ill equipped to handle right now.

some say loneliness isn’t about not being with someone else but more about not being in touch with yourself where external and internal world mismatch. You need to be able to look within yourself and be present in the moment to moment. Being in a relationship or having someone around doesn’t mean you won’t feel lonely. Focus on the connection you have with yourself, look back on how you lived, how you are going to live in the future and whether these reflect your personality, beliefs, needs/wants and/or goal in life.
As for moving, it sounds like you are scared and anxious which is understandable but mind you, some people view such changes as exciting and fun. Sometime, it all depends on how you look at it. Treat it as a long term traveling (which many pay lot of money to do) with heightened senses from anticipation of new/different experience (which is what travelling is all about and reason why ppl do it). I believe you only remember the good time in your past relationship because you are afraid of the unknown outside the relationship. Think of this as a traveling, life is a journey and you are your home

I am so, so sorry for your pain. I know how unbearable it can be sometimes. Just know you cannot repress these things and come out of the experience whole. Grieve. If you feel the need to cry, then cry with conviction. The loneliness and grief, though excruciating at times, are still necessary parts of the healing process. If you do not face them and take it step by step to make your way through them, they will forever torment you. Have faith and you will find yourself, Lost73. You are in my prayers.

Hi there....Im really sorry you are going thru this. it sounds like from whaat you said, it is due to some bad choices you made. I know that can make it all the harder, but dont beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself and learn from your mistakes. Can you really push yourself and find another counselor? I believe that can be your lifeline. Move to your new location, start your new job and find that counselor to help you gain some good perspective and make good choices going forward. Loneliness is elusive. I have felt lonely in a mall with many people around. You have to be settled and happy and peaceful within yourself. Do you have a close friend? family? Dont wait to long to reach out to someone that can help. Keeping everything bottled in is not always the best way to go. Hold your head high....one day at a time!