I'm not sure but I need you to understand that when you sign in you become their property. they do not release you until they deem you okay to return to society. Have you talked to any outpatient LCSW-C's please try that route. Do you have any spiritual advisers? I am very concerned and I want you to understand that things will get better. I just need you to picture yourself in a casket while he is living his life. ABSOLUTELY NOT, he is not worth it. Trust me, I have thought the same but then when I realized I would be throwing away my life while he is living his absolutely not. Trust me its not going to work with them. It was built on a lie. People who move on that fast and do not get to know each other crumble. Please know that you lose them the same way you get them. In other words, she thinks she is winning but when he does the same to her or she does the same to him they can only look back on the pain they caused you. It will get better. Just keep reaching out and try to find places near you. What state are you in?

Thank you so much for your support. I didn't realise you couldn't leave on your own terms. I'm in Utah, salt lake area. I haven't heard of LCSW-C's so I'm looking into it now. I know I cant do anything to myself because it would destroy my family. I just feel like I need a break from reality. Ah, if only that were an option! I'm trying really hard to see the big picture but I'm not quite there yet. I can talk to spiritual advisors too and I've been trying yoga/meditation and hoping that can help me see a brighter outlook. Things aren't helping right now but it's only been a month so I can't give up yet... again, thank you for your care.

That does help. I'll take a look at the church counseling. Thank you everyone

Hi
I'm really sorry to hear that. I have had anxiety for many years. I am divorcing now but at the beginning of this marriage I had my second major breakdown that was caused by the first marriage.
I am fearing I'm due for the next big one to hit any time. I do have to say that the ONLY way I have ever beaten this demon is to keep pushing on. Everyone needs downtime. Pushing so hard for so long will just burn you out but if you keep yourself active doing things you enjoy and wear yourself out with it and have a sense of accomplishment. After all anxiety attacks your self worth.
I also forced myself into social and public situations and every minute I hung in there was a bigger victory.
I'm not a doctor and everyone is different but surrounding yourself with people who understand and facing it head on might be worth a shot.
We all have very good reasons to be here. We are not failures. We are not less than our former spouses. We are good people that were taken out of bad situations to find new open doors better suited for us.
Every day is a drag but each minute I hang in there is a huge victory. Good luck and you might try discussing it with your new boss. A new job will add alot to anxiety. You might be surprised who all will understand.

I know exactly how you feel. I went through that 3 years ago when my husband checked out of our marriage and I didn't know why. I got counseling for my depression and wrote in my journal a lot. I made it through. Ended up he was a cheater. Anyway, now when I'm feeling down I play Gloria Gainer's - I will survive - really loud in my car and sing at the top of my lungs.
No one is worth it. I read the book - Learn to Love Yourself. That helped too. I feel for you. I know it's scary and hard but you will get through it. Hugs.