This is sooo true. I don't really get it. I mean - all my father had to do was look at me....you know - that "look" and I would start behaving. I was never spanked - just a stern voice was enough. I have never yelled at my father - atleast not that I can remember. Seems kids today have so much less respect for adults. I am a very strong parent (don't let my kids get away with much) but also a very loving parent. And I can't believe how my kids talk to me sometimes. Blows me away.

I agree with you, Heave. I see it everyday in school--kids who literally won't pick up a pencil, sleep all period, talk back. Then when you try to enforce some discipline it doesn't do any good because the discipline is often not backed up at home.

I've seen parents so busy fighting with each other that the kid's needs are secondary. I've seen kids play one parent against the other. Very sad.

Kids are exposed to more and more today through television, the Internet, games, etc. Parents are having to work longer hours or away from home just to put food on the table. How can they be everywhere to monitor everything?

My step-daughter is raised, married, expecting a child. Stbx and I got her raised without her getting into booze or drugs and no babies before marriage. We realize how lucky we are.

I have two kids launched, and one more to go.

I am counting down the years on my youngest, not because I can't wait for her to grow up, but because being a parent now is so frigging scary.

And making it harder, now a divorce and her dad is out of the picture.

It's terrifying and very difficult to keep them on the right path. I look at parents with younger kids, and I feel sorry for them. I think it gets harder with every generation.

I wonder if our parents said the same thing when we were younger.

My ex had moved out of the house last year and we were still fighting a lot. He had just started picking the kids up for weekends.

So one day, he's bringing them home and we're fighting over something, but he tells our daughter to pick something or other up. And she (age 6) turned to him and said, "I don't have to listen to you, I'm at Mom's house now."

I turned around and told her that she's Never to talk to her Father like that. That he's Always her father. And sent her directly into time out for a Long time.

That single incident has set the stage for how we back each other up, even when we're mad at each other. (Not that they still don't try daily...LOL.) But if we lose control of them at 6 and 8, what will happen when they're teenagers? I don't care how much I disagree with his rules at his house, the kids still have to listen to them. My rules at my house. School rules at school. (Heck, we ALL have work rules at work!!) That's just life.

Oh and Heave, it takes a lot to be called a bad parent and get your kids removed from your home. I can totally threaten to take Everything out of their rooms except a few pillows, blanket, and matress on the floor, and no judge would take my kids away.

When my son was younger and liked to slam his door, he learned just how easy it was for mom to take the thing off the hinges and remove it.

And believe me, I don't have to buy the stuff that they like for dinner.

I also have satalite tv, and can and have taken the card out so they couldn't watch ANYTHING.

But I also have to be ready to deal with Angry Uncooperative kids when I do this. Life pretty much stops when they're really in trouble, and I can't do it all the time.

patti...one thing you said just struck a chord with me...I've been teaching for over 12 years. Rules...I've been told in the past that student A should be allowed to cuss because it was allowed at home. Of course the handbook was presented and I pointed out that rule. I told them that it was up to them what was allowed at home (ugh!) but at school, their son had to follow the school rules. And if they wanted him to not have to follow school rules, their only choice would be homeschooling him. All they were teaching him was to do whatever he wanted in any situation. Life just isn't like that...that's reality.

I have one child, and I educated her about the important things so she would be protected from those who take advantage of ignorance. So she would understand the danger, and what she needed to do if she was approached, and all that stuff, she is very well behaved and so far, usually makes very good decisions.

I take my hat off to her at this point, she has been basically trouble free to raise.

I don't believe it's harder today than any other time. I believe that some parents MAKE it harder. And some I've watched are just plain lazy. They get so caught up in all the superficial crap. There are really only two things that kids need to be taught... how to be responsible, and how to be respectful. The trick is, their "education" on these has to start from day one. You can't let a child coast thru their toddler and elementary years and then expect them to "straighten up" in their teens and act civilized. It starts when that 2 years old is pitching a fit in the grocery store for candy, and the parent gives in just to shut them up so they can get their shopping done. Or when the parent doesn't follow thru with that threat to spank or ground them, or send them to "time out".

Kids learn fast and are great manipulators. When they find something that works, they use it! And adults let them get away with things because they're tired, or don't want to deal with it at the moment. If anyone wants to watch this in action, spend an afternoon (preferrably around nap time) at Wal-Mart.

I've raised two. The first one tested every boundary I raised. Was defiant, willful and stubborn. She put me thru hell. The second one is a dream. I joke and say that she had pitty on me after seeing what her sister put me thru. The truth is that some kids "get it" and some kids don't. They're just wired different.

But neither child would ever disrespect me, or any other adult in authority. And they understand the concept of consequences and how to take responsibility for their actions and themselves... whether it's on the internet, on a date with a boy, being left at home alone, or at school in the classroom. It doesn't matter the circumstance, location... or the technology.

I made their "education" a priority, and it shows. They had no "right" to privacy. I was always all up in their business. Because they were my responsibility. I choose not to be too tired, or too distracted... even thru 2 divorces and one abusive husband. You do what you have to do. And if it's apparently not good enough, you adjust. No excuses.

(Stepping down of my soapbox now... sorry.)