Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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One Year Later...

26yearsgone
26yearsgone
I thought I had improved considerably but I seemed to have regressed. One year ago my 26 year marriage came to a sudden end when my ex said he wanted out. And he did it in such a spectacular way by posting his profile on an online dating site and going out dating every night and weekend while he was still living in the house. By the time he moved out eight weeks later he had a girlfriend who he proceeded to flaunt in front of our teenage daughter. The first four months were hell. Then I picked myself up and tried to move forward. By the time the summer came around I was feeling stronger. However a few weeks ago, the fear and the anxiety attacks started to resurface. I don't know if it was because the one year anniversary of D-day was approaching. Or if the smell and feel of the Fall season brought back unbearable memories from this time last year, but I feel like I'm experiencing the whole situation all over again. One year later I still can't believe that he would treat me in such a ruthless way. I'm beginning to feel like I will never totally recover. I feel like my faith and trust in people has been permanently shattered. I feel like I will only live a shell of a life going forward. Each day seems to be a test in whether I can make it to the end of the day. I don't experience joy anymore. The relentlessness of this emotional roller coaster is taking a huge toll on me. As I struggle with elderly parents, a teenage daughter, midlife hormones, a high-pressure part-time job and a new career while still facing the legal battle of divorce and selling the family home, I feel totally overwhelmed. I thought I was doing everything I could to heal: therapy, meds, friends and family, support groups, no contact with the ex, etc. but I'm despairing about ever feeling content again. Any ideas?
mynewnormal
mynewnormal
26yearsgone.. I'm so sorry to hear you're stuck..
I'm also hitting my 1 year mark, I think maybe stepping back from all the stress in your life and just acknowledging how amazing you are! LOOK at what hell you've been through, and 1 year later, your still strong and pushing forward.. its a huge deal, your successes should be acknowledged, and rewarded! take some YOU time.. and know this is only temporary.. we're always here if you need to vent, remember your not alone here.. let us help you if we can ((hugs!))
26yearsgone
26yearsgone
Thank you mynewnormal. It's too bad that I use this forum when I need to vent but don't when I'm feeling okay. I have made progress. But I'm still feeling far from good. And I'm tired of not having anyone to lean on. Thanks again.
happymama2j
happymama2j
I am now almost 2 years from D-day. Late summer into fall is a hard time for me, as that is when he started treating me like garbage, drinking more, running around on me, etc. I will say that so far, this year is better than last year though. Last year was harder, as the first "anniversaries" if you will of all of the painful events played out for the first time. It is hard for sure. I am no expert by any means, and I'm sure I will have some lows this year as well. But I can tell you, getting past those "first times since" was almost like a victory once it was over, and going through the milestones that I have so far for a second time, it has so far been easier than the first time. You have come through so much. The hard times are understandable, but you are strong enough to get through them, and you don't have to be alone, you have your DS people, whenever you need them
(((HUGS)))
kbbcoop77
kbbcoop77
I still felt pretty bad after a year..(ex wife left after 24 years so pretty similar)...now it's been 19 months and it's getting better. I think it just takes more time. The first year has all the firsts you have to deal with. Honestly I'm getting comfortable being single now and the thought of another "relationship" gives me the creeps lol! Hang in there :)
sdjo
sdjo
Hello 26yearsgone, I am truly sorry for your situation and your feelings! I'm sorry but I do not have a good answer for you other than to hang in there.! It sounds like a lot of us are / were in your shoes so you are not alone. I've been married for 25 yrs and it is falling apart. They funny thing is that neither of us want it (but believe me there is nothing funny about it). We are both fighting in our own ways to save our marriage, but that seems to be pulling us apart. My wife is not willing to see a counselor, I have gone a number of times, but she does not show up...she said we do not need one! We are both in the same house, and like you, the stress, emotions and loss of hope is taking a huge toll on me. I'm not sleeping and feeling sick all the time. I just don't know what the right thing to do is? So I don't have any answers, just be assured that there are many of us in your shoes, and maybe if we share our thoughts and lives, we will all get thru these difficult times!