Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hey Folks,
It's been awhile since I've posted. Just a little over a year ago.
I've been wanting to for a while and just never made the time.
I have been separated from my ex for about 1.5 years now. I feel like emotionally I was doing ok. Life wise, and financially, I'm doing awesome.
Things have been a roller coaster in the past year. Got fired from my job, lived off a nice severance for the summer and then got a job with a great company in the fall.
Started dating a woman and was with her for about 4 months. After dating her though, a lot of wounds resurfaced after it ended that obviously had not totally healed yet.
My roommate (and one of my best friends) moved away and to another city, so I now live on my own (which I can afford and is actually really great).
Lately I have been feeling really alone, like a huge piece of me is gone and I am having a hard time climbing out of this funk!
And the last little while I have been missing my ex. So I decided to sit down and think about the why. Why did I miss my ex??
It took some time because at first I couldn't actually think of much, and in fact came up with nothing initially.
I was, and am missing the companionship. The friend that is always there. Someone to talk to.
Her and the guy she left me for are, from what she has told me in a bit of a financial hole because she had a sales job that she made no money at for six months. She's been pretty stressed out and actually lost her sh*t at me one day at my house (literally had nothing to do with me and we've been getting along very well lately). Stress is getting to her for sure.
He's now working two jobs and has been for quite a while!
I feel like she makes selfish choices with money and work that are not realistic and this has a huge impact on her partners. She did this to me and it was a big part of why we fought.
Anyway, aside from that. I'm happy to be out of that situation and can only imagine the stress she's brought into his life! It actually causes me anxiety when I think about it!
My life is good and I have come a long ways. Even though I still feel like I am not totally healed, life overall is good.
The fresh cut feeling has been replaced by a constant dull pain. Like how a scar still feels sensitive years later. It doesn't hurt as bad as the fresh cut, the pain is not as intense, but it lingers.
I do hope to come out of the emotional funk soon though. It's getting tiring!
I hope you are all doing well!
It's been awhile since I've posted. Just a little over a year ago.
I've been wanting to for a while and just never made the time.
I have been separated from my ex for about 1.5 years now. I feel like emotionally I was doing ok. Life wise, and financially, I'm doing awesome.
Things have been a roller coaster in the past year. Got fired from my job, lived off a nice severance for the summer and then got a job with a great company in the fall.
Started dating a woman and was with her for about 4 months. After dating her though, a lot of wounds resurfaced after it ended that obviously had not totally healed yet.
My roommate (and one of my best friends) moved away and to another city, so I now live on my own (which I can afford and is actually really great).
Lately I have been feeling really alone, like a huge piece of me is gone and I am having a hard time climbing out of this funk!
And the last little while I have been missing my ex. So I decided to sit down and think about the why. Why did I miss my ex??
It took some time because at first I couldn't actually think of much, and in fact came up with nothing initially.
I was, and am missing the companionship. The friend that is always there. Someone to talk to.
Her and the guy she left me for are, from what she has told me in a bit of a financial hole because she had a sales job that she made no money at for six months. She's been pretty stressed out and actually lost her sh*t at me one day at my house (literally had nothing to do with me and we've been getting along very well lately). Stress is getting to her for sure.
He's now working two jobs and has been for quite a while!
I feel like she makes selfish choices with money and work that are not realistic and this has a huge impact on her partners. She did this to me and it was a big part of why we fought.
Anyway, aside from that. I'm happy to be out of that situation and can only imagine the stress she's brought into his life! It actually causes me anxiety when I think about it!
My life is good and I have come a long ways. Even though I still feel like I am not totally healed, life overall is good.
The fresh cut feeling has been replaced by a constant dull pain. Like how a scar still feels sensitive years later. It doesn't hurt as bad as the fresh cut, the pain is not as intense, but it lingers.
I do hope to come out of the emotional funk soon though. It's getting tiring!
I hope you are all doing well!
The less I know about whats going on with him and OW the better off I am. He chose this life, he chose this change. He can deal with those consequences - without me. The less contact you have with her, I think will help a lot :)
worth a try anyway! best of luck :)
Secondly, sometimes what you miss about the person isn't really the person but something they represented or brought to your life. For instance, if my neighbor made the absolute BEST chocolate cookies in the whole world and she brought me a plate of them regularly, I would miss them very much if she suddenly moved away. Sure, I would miss her too ... I would miss her generosity and neighborliness ... but those things would be separate from the cookies. If I were to somehow find the exact recipe online and could make them for myself whenever I wanted, I would probably not miss her nearly as much.
Have you considered going into therapy? That's been helping me a lot.
Have you ever joined any meetups? Do you volunteer? I know when my oldest goes off to college in the fall the loneliness will smack down, so I'm hoping for myself to find something worthwhile or fun to do while I adjust.
Stay strong!
I love the cookies analogy. Yes, I do want her cookies and I think I can learn to make my own.
I am glad to hear you are doing well, for the most part.
Of course you are missing companionship. Your best friend just up and moved. While living on your own is great, it can get lonely. When that happens, we let our minds wander and first thing we think about is the last one we were with. How we wish they were around now.
What we forget is the reason they are not around now. So we pine for.. someone, and its them thats in the forefront of our mind. (well after Anna Kendrick for me :) ).
Anyway, what I am saying is dude, give yourself a break. I saw a LOT of positives here. Your roomie and best friend leaving is certainly contributing to the companionship you are missing. The fact you still talk to her baffles me, but if it works and there isn't any animosity, who cares. at least you aint at each others throats or what not.
Now, go get some chips-a-hoy and milk and go to bed. :)