Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Tonight it has been one week since I contacted him, or since he contacted me. It has been very difficult not to text to reach out to him in any way. I don't feel the same is true on his end. Over the weekend he spent time at our vacation home with this mistress, and I hear through the grapevine that it didn't go well. Last week at this time I was on the phone with him spilling my guts and telling him how much I loved him and how much our family means to me, and he was unmoved.
How can something like that not move a person at all? How can you throw away a family, a life, and a plan you spent years making together? It hurts more than words can describe. When you love someone so much that you give them your entire heart, that you find reserves you didn't know you had in order to build them up and envelope them in love, only to hear them tell you that your pain is not their problem is excruciating.
Each day is getting easier though. Being treated so coldly, with so little compassion and feeling it seems has finally gotten to me. I started to think about my nieces and younger sisters. If someone treated them like he has treated me; cheated on them, hit them, gas lighted them, emotionally tormented them, I would be livid. I'm trying to understand the plight of the people in my life who love and cherish me, who don't want to see me hurt and hurting. This helps a great deal to try and relate to them rather than to my own feelings of grief and loneliness.
I'm finally starting to get settled into my new house, this is the first place I have ever lived that has been just mine. Its a nice feeling, if somewhat inadequate. Deep down I feel I don't deserve it, and its hurts to realize that. I keep telling myself that I DO deserve it. I DO deserve love and happiness, just like each of us do.
I never thought I could go a week, and I know I'm still in danger of relapse. What keeps you from breaking no contact in those dark moments?
How can something like that not move a person at all? How can you throw away a family, a life, and a plan you spent years making together? It hurts more than words can describe. When you love someone so much that you give them your entire heart, that you find reserves you didn't know you had in order to build them up and envelope them in love, only to hear them tell you that your pain is not their problem is excruciating.
Each day is getting easier though. Being treated so coldly, with so little compassion and feeling it seems has finally gotten to me. I started to think about my nieces and younger sisters. If someone treated them like he has treated me; cheated on them, hit them, gas lighted them, emotionally tormented them, I would be livid. I'm trying to understand the plight of the people in my life who love and cherish me, who don't want to see me hurt and hurting. This helps a great deal to try and relate to them rather than to my own feelings of grief and loneliness.
I'm finally starting to get settled into my new house, this is the first place I have ever lived that has been just mine. Its a nice feeling, if somewhat inadequate. Deep down I feel I don't deserve it, and its hurts to realize that. I keep telling myself that I DO deserve it. I DO deserve love and happiness, just like each of us do.
I never thought I could go a week, and I know I'm still in danger of relapse. What keeps you from breaking no contact in those dark moments?
The only thing that has helped me move forward is going NC and accepting this divorce really did happen. Once I accepted the reality it helped me to finally let go. Setting goals was one thing that helped me too; I would make a goal of NC for 30 days. Having a goal helped because I could focus on a date and tell myself I could contact him then if I really felt the need to. Sad to say but most times I did break contact after my goal date BUT sometimes I went past the 30 days and that felt so good!
Its a hard journey we are on, be strong and take care of you now. Time really does help and knowing WE do deserve love, respect and happiness gives us hope for a brighter, healthier future. Hugs and hang in there.
And btw you deserve it!
I hope you enjoy your new home!
You deserve better,, intellectually you know that>yes you need to grieve the loss of what you believed was true, the lost future the loss of support of someone you thought loved you but guess what, this is the card life dealt you. So you can either continue to cause yourself pain, or try and make lemonade out of the lemons.
So sorry for your pain, been there done that