You just completely described my life. Only difference is I have started back sleeping. I feel the exact same way and just wish the pain and thoughts would go away. I been to counseling once so far and will be going back.
I'm sure you have heard the you will get through this, it will get better, etc. While I do believe this will happen for me, you and all others going through the same I would love to know WHEN!
I hate this feeling and absolutely don't know how to get past it. I hope you feel better soon and know and believe that it will get better.

mstj326~~I'm sorry that you're going through this because it's as close to hell as I can imagine. I know it will get better but never thought I'd be brought to my knees like this. I don't like it but can't seem to get around it. I hope we both can get some relief sooner rather than later. Thank you for sharing....

You have also described my life. My husband left me after 18 years, and at age 40, I was forced to start my life over without him. I remember those first few months. I could barely get out of bed, just to go to work. I could not eat for days on end..... I am one year out and it has gotten a better, but I am still struggling.

Best of luck to all of us!!!!!

@brittany8~I forgot about the dreaded "divorce diet". My counselor is working with me teaching me gratitude and affirmations. Sometimes nothing works but a good cry. I'm trying not to be in my ex's company anymore because I noticed how hard it is for me after that. It reminds me of the qualities he has that made me fall in love with him in the first place. I don't need to remember that; I need to forget it.

I know the pain your feeling I am going through it right now. I was told less then a week ago by my husband that he wants a divorce. And that he pretty much does not love me anymore. I wake up with my skin crawling, no appetite, with moments of panic, and nausea. Constant sadness. I like you just want the pain to stop . I'm focusing all I can on this divorce the pain gets in the way. I am to a generally strong woman. I want my old life back even if it wasn't. Perfect. Because that life was so much more peaceful then this. All I can say is that we have to survive somehow. I like you, don't know how I am going to do it. Focus on divorce , focus on divorce is all I'm saying to myself right now. Focus on the next step and finish the next after that . One foot in front of the other. That's all we can do to move forward.

All I can say is focus on yourself. It took me months before I could eat regularly. And it took a long time before I could be in his company and not want to cry. It is th ehardest thing I ever had to do... But it does get easier. Like I said, I still struggle with it, but I am much better. It took months of no contact

I just want to say that the only thing that is helping me is the drive to get this divorce done quickly, the pain and suffering is there all the time and sometimes I feel like I'm frozen and can't move, I just keep telling myself over and over get this divorce done. So your focus while dealing with the pain has to be something other then the pain.
I am not thinking about my future because it's too much right now . One thing at a time that's all I can say.

My life is the same. Lost 20 pds in a month and lack of sleep is killing me. I think my hubby wants to stay with me but i am moving on as he has cheated and there is no coming back. Feeling sad and lonely every once in a while and then feeling strong other days. Ugh!

My wife and I are starting the divorce process. She is asking me for the divorce and I really don't want it. We went to a co-parenting counselor on Monday to talk about a divorce plan. We spent a lot of time talking about the problems in our relationship that had led us to this state. During the discussion, I got emotional quite a few times, while my wife only got emotional once. Of course, this is because my wife has accepted the divorce while I have not.

The co-parenting counselor recommended that I go see an independent counselor to talk about my feelings and help me deal with my emotions.

Originally, I dismissed this recommendation. I consider myself to be a strong man so I figured I'm hurting now, but I'll just suck it up and grow thicker skin. Time will heal my wounds, I don't need time on Frasier Crane's couch to help me heal.

Then I had my first panic attack last night. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest. My heart was pounding, but I didn't have chest pains. It was awful. There was no trigger. It just happened. I actually had to sit and compose myself for about a half hour early this morning before I could get ready for work.

So, I'm scheduling that appointment with a counselor.

My point is, you are a strong woman, but not getting sleep and having pain doesn't make you weak. It just makes you human.

JoeMc3...thank you for your last comment. Helped me so much. Just 10 days since my first post and I can say that I'm a bit better. Still cry a lot and wake up constantly at night but am starting to become a bit angry. Which I think is a good thing. It's the only thing that has made me move forward. I've also decided to limit my exposure to him as it always sends me backwards. My counselor says, "You can glance in the rear view mirror, but don't stay there too long because you'll get in an accident!" Not thinking about the past, when things were good, also helps.

I second Joe's thoughts... I was always a strong centered person, and my wife leaving has knocked me down at my knees, im still struggling to stand. Its been 8 months for me now and although i feel better, i still break down. I will say this though... last week I went on a cruise with my sister... I let loose, I got out of my comfort zone and had a blast... I didn't think of her much of the trip. I came home feeling renewed, like a new man. Ill admit its only been a few days since im back and I have to see her this evening for the first time in 2 weeks which may pull me down again. But point is, distractions help... Take that trip you always wanted to take, take that class, or read that book. What ever it is, the more distractions you have, the less you will think of them. It will never go away, but becomes a lil easier to handle.

Thank you ESL12. I'm glad that you are doing better. Not much distracted me in the beginning. Was capable of doing almost anything on auto-pilot while thoughts raced around in my head. Getting better at being in the present moment and stopping that loop of hurtful thoughts. I just never thought I'd be here at this stage of my life. It's so draining. There's got to be something better than this.