of course, she is still doing it. those are things that she likes to do. but, she needs some girlfriends to do them with so that you can do what you like to do.

help her find a way to make some friends.

Hi terrondt: Some questions come to mind:

(1) As we've seen here on the board before, where is she getting the money to do all this shopping?

(2) Will this constant shopping eventually crash into your life styles and cause harm if you two decide to get together permanently?

(3) Why is your input disregarded in favor of her shopping? Is she a shopping addict?

(4) Practice saying NO, and then say NO to her and say it more often.

(5) You have to decide if this is the life you want for yourself and if not, you will probably have to walk. I don't think counseling will work for her. Someone who spent their weekends constantly to shop, and refused to listen to their boyfriend as to what he would like to do on weekends, would present a problem for me. There's a lot of need for self gratification there, no consideration for her partner's wishes, and I believe some addiction. That's not much to work with.

I would set a limit on how much time you spend shopping with her. Tell her you don't really enjoy it, but you know that she does so you will go along maybe once a month. Other than that she's on her own. And then request that she stay in maybe 1 night a month on the weekend and watch a DVD or 2 with you. See what she says to that. Relationships are about compromise. If you do all the giving and get nothing in return, then that's not much of a relationship, and not one I'd want to be in. Stand up for yourself and demand to be an equal partner in this relationship.

thanks as time goes by. answer your first question, she spends her own money on the shopping. and it does not put killer dent in our finances. but thats besides the point. i do think she is a shopaholic though. that said a lot of times i dont feel like going but i will say no sometimes and suggest my plans.

Hmmmmmm.....shopaholic, disregard for your wants, ignores conversations you have to solve problem, always plans with her family......hmmmmm....RED FLAG...RED FLAG....RED FLAG....Ya really think it's gonna get better?

PS....I don't mean to sound so negative, but you can't change other people, and she obviously isn't interested in changing even though her behavior in these areas concern you. You need to decide what you will and will not live with for the rest of your life. Set your own personal boundaries, stick to them, and decide if this is a relationship and behavior that crosses those boundaries. If it does, you will resent her forever. If you can't fix the problem, can you live with it?

Hi terron, shopping with your gf for hours on end and following her every whim sounds like a great way to spend her birthday or to celebrate a promotion, or some other special occasion like that. But relationships are give and take and you shouldn't be the only one having to sacrifice. When was the last time she went with you all day and made the activities all about you?