Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It’s a new year. A year I never expected to be faced with but here I am. I have these highs and then these lows that keep taking turns. As I’ve said before, during the highs everything seems so planned and calculated. Most thoughts are met with reason and optimism. Then the lows come....My goodness, are they ever low. When they are present it’s impossible for me to see the responsibility my wife had in our marriage ending. I can’t remember the lies. I can’t imagine her having the affair. I don’t feel the betrayal. All I feel is emptiness. I see an empty side of my bed. A pillow that no longer smells like her. Her absence is equally obvious on the inside and out. Music has never been so hurtful. I dread the summer air that always takes my mind to her. How does it get better? There’s so much to let go of. It’s not fair to have to move on from what meant the world to you. I’m a collector of moments not things. As bad as her lies and betrayal were they will never compare to the countless joyful moments we’ve shared.
Thanks for sharing. It sounds like you're going through a lot at the moment, and it must be terrible to miss the person that means everything to you. You are right when you say it is not fair. Did you break up recently or a while ago?
The hard part that you describe so well, is feeling like you've got your sh$t together one day. Like, I've got this, I'm strong and excited about my future. To maybe as fast as minutes later shooting holes in all those positive feelings and dreading a future without the one you love. How will you ever be happy? It's the swings that make everything feel even more unstable. I try to get balance by actively pursuing things that make me happy deep down, not just escape or distraction but self development kind of things. I also try to refocus every single time the negative thoughts come in. I hope that over time I can shift my thinking permanently.
It is unfair. The problem is that realizing it's unfair won't change anything. All you can do is try to let go of the hurt and move on. It won't be quick or easy but you'll get there.