Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Once Again

Skramp
Skramp
So, I was doing really good, having some really good days and pushing through everything.......then, last night, it shows up on FB that her new man says he's in a relationship with her. It's been almost 3 months since we seperated and less than a month from the finalization of our divorce. Of course, that sent me for a complete loop. I knew she was seeing someone because she was at least honest and told me. But, here's one of the things I don't get. Immediately after he posted that, she hid it from her timeline and made it not show up for her friends or family. Like she's hiding it from people for some reason. I know she's shallow and self-absorbed, but why is she really this scared to admit to people that she's in a relationship? I know it's none of my worries, but this is the same shit she pulled in our marriage, she couldn't be honest or tell people the truth at any time. Only worried about herself, didn't show attention to our kids or families, only worried about her.

I know I don't need to worry about it, and it's no concern of mine, but just trying to understand everything.
melissa87
melissa87
I'm sorry...that kind of thing is tough. My ex started seeing someone two weeks later (apparently this is how he "deals"...runs to someone new) and learning that was like a kick in the stomach. I would suggest unfriending and possibly blocking her. My ex was upset when I unfriended him...I wish I'd had the clarity at the time to tell him that he was the one who "unfriended" me. I had to because some of the things he posted, while I KNOW they weren't directed at me, it was hard not to take them personally (just quotes he thought were good or funny) and I couldn't have them popping up and setting off an anxiety attack. After I explained to him why I did, he posted a few things that I know were directed at me (they were nice) and then made his profile so only friends can see what he posts which is fine with me. I actually discovered he was seeing someone after a mutual friend called and asked me what was going on because he'd posted that the new girl somewhere.
My point is, her lack of honesty or transparency might actual be in consideration of your feelings. Sometimes people lie because they don't want to hurt feelings. I'm hoping that's the case here but I'd recommend unfriending. You don't need that reminder.
Hugs to you!