I'm sorry for your breakup, but that usually happens when married women cheat.

I was stuck. I came across Anthony when I didn’t expect it- I was married to another man who never went anywhere with me, never celebrated my kids birthday parties with me, never financially supported me and left me doing all the bills and paying for most everything, running the household and cussing at me and verbally putting me down. I only stayed because I was so afraid of the young kids needing their dad and him running off to somewhere I would never find him. Anthony would have taken me in but it took years for him to leave his situation since he was living with his baby mama

Oh what a tangle web we weave. It is a tangled web you wove.It would not
have been if you were clear BECAUSE of the kids.You could have tried
counseling-tried a trial separation- or ended it correctly in a professional fashion.
How can it end up right any other way.Not surprised at all for the
turn out--- sorry for your losses.

Yes I did get myself in a tangled mess.....with everyone involved. I did try counseling weekly for years. I was convinced to move in with Anthony but then the counselor advised me to just live alone with the kids until I figure it all out. I’m admitting that I made a poor decision and tried to stick it out for the kids. I truly felt guilty for breaking up the family.

I am so sorry for all of this- but on a more positive note- your still with
your husband Do you feel no love for him left at all? His affair on Tinder
is most likely a result of problems in marriage. I am sorry. Sorry the counseling has not worked, I have heard on these forums that some people had switched
counselors and that worked.
It seems as if you and your husband were together for the kids not like really
loving each other-Are you still going to stay in the marriage cause the other
guy is gone -your husband is having affair which does not bother you-Does it bother you now that everyone is nestled in with someone else but your not,
Life has a funny way of playing things out.I did not hear you say once that
damn maybe I should have been upfront about these illicit feelings for
Anthony. This forum is a safe place to work things out,having support and
uncovering what needs to be- I think.Did you love your husband in the beginning. Was the feeling that you had for Anthony- did you Ever feel that way about your husband in the first place? Im sure you know where this is heading right?. Transparency. Courage,Maturity,Yo avoid these things we
start weaving a web- then we get so far entangled-.You have to sit down and take a good long look at things and figure out what you are going to do Once and for all- Life is short .Time -we do not get it back- so choose wisely
Heartfelt Hugs, Positive Energy, Courage sending your way. : )

You know what? I appreciate all of your honesty. I really need a slap in the face. The counselors are great to listen to and help guide your feelings but they are so careful not to be honest and give me advice. This is really helped me. And all in all, it really did come down to not just staying with my husband for the kids. I see he had verbally abused me I resented him for all of that which causing me not to see all the positive things he did. When I saw Anthony (who I worked with) do all these nice things for me, I saw that men really can treat their women nice! I grew emotionally attached to Anthony, but I guess he was the “candy”. I needed meat and potatoes for my family....which I now realize after all this was my husband.

Wow Ishy you are human like us all- we have all made a mistake here and there- none of us perfect,I understand the desire for Anthony because of what
was lacking in your husband,Everyone deserves to be happy( I bet this is what you thought), We think this way just focusing on the I am not happy with my circumstances- we get sucked in. We are not prepared before marriage
to put on armor and be prepared for the fiery darts (verbal abuse)that can find its way into our marriages.
Verbal abuse even in the most early on displays are
no joke its no party-its not fun and the effects of it outlast any sorry that your
husband could have told you. But at the end of it all when the candy falls off the stick are you going to put the meat and potatoes back on the plate and
step things up a notch and do you think you can still fight for your marriage.
If he is still in the home with you- you may want to sit down and think of what you truly truly want to do, My heartfelt positivity may it fly over and perch on you.May you be able to Forgive and Renew your perspective on love and
Endurance in a Marriage and always know that Love is the most(true love, pure true love, (Love ordained by the Universe) never fails, can always be restored, Always Reigns in the End, Hugs Hugs