Wooaaahhh, slow down a bit! You just decided to get divorced, and now you're going on a dating site already? That is a recipe for disaster! You have not even begun to heal from this break-up, yet you want to drag unsuspecting people into your divorce drama? That is so not fair. You may think it's just casual, but people on those sites are looking for relationships (mostly) and you're not in that place yet. You'll just be bringing baggage from one relationship to the next. Take some time for you to heal and figure out who you are and what you want for your future.

As to your ex SIL, if you are on friendly enough terms with your STBX, then do tell him. Put yourself in her place: would you want to know? Those dating sites are full of people looking to hook up even though they're supposedly in committed relationships. It's no place for the faint of heart. Really consider where you're at emotionally before going on them.

Thanks Cheryt,

But like I said, I'm not looking to date...just meet new people and make new friends with different interests. The site I am on is designed to support all walks of life...it's not just for dating and relationships (actually I think most of the people on there aren't looking for relationships) and I make it clear right off the hop where I'm at and what I'm looking for. No relationship happening anytime soon. And I am not a stranger to "those sites". Really no different than befriending someone you met at say a cooking class. Ya, I'd definitely want to know!

I see where you're coming from. Around here there are meetup groups, and then dating sites. There are no "friend" sites that I'm aware of. And those dating sites can vary from hooking up, to cheating, to actual relationships. But they're all dating sites, so that's what I thought you meant. Just be careful with your heart. You're very vulnerable now, and I'd hate to see someone take advantage of that. There are creeps out there!

What did you decide to do about the SIL?

Yes, I am aware of what kind of people are on those sites and they are all considered "dating" sites, but there are many people on the site I am on that are really just looking for new friends i.e. new to the area etc. But of course there are those looking to date, looking for relationships, looking for hook ups etc. I just avoid those. And if a liar manages to slip through...I'm sure he will disappear quickly once he realizes he won't get anywhere with me lol. My heart will not get involved as my motive is to just get myself the f*ck out of my house and pajamas, it's not to find a replacement for my STBX. I'm going to tell him. After I move out, lol.

That's actually very kind of you to let her know in a roundabout way. I don't know that I would do the same for my SIL (maybe I would because that would cause her a little pain - vicious bitch). What a dirtbag she's gotten herself involved with, huh? People never cease to amaze me. I'm actually friends with someone who is on a dating site, and met a guy a year and a half ago. She wanted to date him, but he just wanted to hook up. She really fell for him, but he didn't feel the same way. She just found out that he's had a girlfriend the entire time! Who is battling cancer! Sad thing is, my friend still wants him! Makes me want to scream!

@ The original post. Leave it be, not your drama.

Dating site that's not a dating site? Ooookay.

Personally I'd probably tell him - as you said you could be saving her a huge amount of future grief. But either way is justifiable as ultimately it's not your responsibility.