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Ok, same story, need help

diemjs
diemjs
Most of you have read my posts...or even my profile and journals.

My stbx contacted me today about the parade our town is having tomorrow. Asked me is OM is going, and I say yes. He mumbles something about thats where he was last year and says goodbye.

I want to know why does he always tell me its over, we are divorced in his mind, and then say stuff like that? I keep telling him over and over that I would've done anything in the past 7 months to try and fix things, no matter how it ended up, with us together or apart. I still think we could use counseling. Then he just tells me its over no if ands or buts.

However, he continuously brings up what I did to our family. I broke up the family. And goes over the same old stuff again and again. What does he want from me?

I have now started to live my life without calling him, crying to him or reaching out to him any more, every other day. Is it that he thinks I am moving on and cant handle that or what? I am so confused!

Any ideas, thoughts or suggestions would be very greatful.
Thanks
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't understand,, I read your profile and still do not understand..
Did you have an affair with another man? Then you were contacting your h and crying? I'm a little confused. Please fill me in on the details!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Um, is he still with the OW?
diemjs
diemjs
OK...the OW is now his current GF...he did not cheat on me with this woman. She came into the pic 3 months later. I left my husband for lack of's...love, emotion, romance, affection, money, and on and on. I tried to convince him we needed counseling in the past, 3 times, crying to him saying we should try to work things out because we are married and have children. He would not have anything to do with counseling. I felt at the time that my marraige and family was more important than anything and wanted to see where we could go. Any better at understanding?
diemjs
diemjs
I guess I used this wrong...OM...I mean BF!
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is easy to place blame with the other person. Especially if they were the one who's mistake caused the initial split. If you want to know my opinion though, he needs to quit blaming you. If he is not willing to do the work to save the relationship and you are, then he must accept at least some of the blame. Just my opinion, but you can't punish and blame someone forever, it will end up hurting you more than it hurts them.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is easy to place blame with the other person. Especially if they were the one who's mistake caused the initial split. If you want to know my opinion though, he needs to quit blaming you. If he is not willing to do the work to save the relationship and you are, then he must accept at least some of the blame. Just my opinion, but you can't punish and blame someone forever, it will end up hurting you more than it hurts them.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is easy to place blame with the other person. Especially if they were the one who's mistake caused the initial split. If you want to know my opinion though, he needs to quit blaming you. If he is not willing to do the work to save the relationship and you are, then he must accept at least some of the blame. Just my opinion, but you can't punish and blame someone forever, it will end up hurting you more than it hurts them.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Apparently my post was so good it meeded to post itself twice! Who knew?
deleted_user
deleted_user
It sounds like he was hoping to catch you at the parade but the om makes him uncomfortable. This sounds a little late on his part if it was an attempt to work things out. My stbx refused counseling also and I think it could have done something for us. The fact is, even if you do not end up together you can learn from your mistakes and have a better shot at a healthy relationship.
diemjs
diemjs
Strive, Im with ya! Although I think his GF will be with im at parade, but you could be right. I keep telling him we need counseling regardless of whether we get back together or not. It will be healthier for the kids, and us! But, he is too stubborn and too proud. It is too late for us, he has been so mean and says awful mean things to me. At least he did last month. Today too, until he apologized for being so nasty. He actually asked my why I was being so evil to him? Like he gives a sh@t!
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