You're starting to experience the 'rollercoaster' you've probably heard so many people refer to. It sucks, but the lows are always followed by the highs (and unfortunately, vice versa), but they will start to get less and less over time.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with seeing this whole other side of your ex. It took me a LONG time to stop feeling like I was dealing with two completely different people, the change was that drastic. It's something you can't comprehend, but in the long run, it will help to see this person for who he really is.

As far as the divorce holding you back, it won't! I know that's so hard to believe when you're in the thick of things, but you will eventually be okay. 25 is so young and you will bounce back a better person. I felt the same way in the early stages of my divorce and I was starting it 10 years later than you, but now my life is turning out to be much deeper and more authentic than it was before. These things have a way of breaking you wide open into a better you.

Your ex is showing you who he really is. Believe him! You don't deserve any part of what he's doing. He's a jerk and you deserve better. Eventually he will realize that and when that finally happens, you will have stopped caring!

I hear you Jgarc. I never thought mine would behave the way he did towards me either and like you, I was wrong. It's really a shock when they do a complete 180, isn't it? I don't have any advice for you but I hope things will work out for you in the end. And Always is right. Twenty five is young. I'm 50 and on my second divorce. I may as well resign myself to the fact that I will spend the rest of my life alone and I'm really okay with that. Take whatever time you need to heal from this and get your head on straight. Learn how to be comfortable with your own company. There's a lot of advantages to being single. I didn't make my bed this morning :-)

Great stuff from both Always and KAW...

I too am sorry that your ex is affecting you with his behaviour. I never did understand why the ones who did the betraying and hurtful thing in the relationship had to then become real asses. I guess it's their way of dealing with who they really are? I don't know but I do know that you are in a great place right now whether you know it or not. There is nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic...I myself still am even at 44 and two divorces. I truely believe I will have a great partner someday. That being said, now, I will go into a relationship with both eyes open. Flags will be more apparent and I will waste less time on people who are not for me. You are plenty young enough to be able to bounce back from this and find someone who compliments your wants and desires. I have no doubt that you will have the family you want and now, because of this pending divorce, you will be able to weed out the 'unworthy' with much more efficiency. Believe it or not, you will be able to smile again soon.
Good luck and strength in dealing with your ex...big hugs and don't ever stop dreaming....

Hi Jgarc: Yeah, yeah, the jerk is spouting off lots of steam and venom to frighten the little girl. But you're not a little girl and you've come a lot farther and this should be making you mad. Mad, that some jerk feels he has so much control over you that he can be contacting you so much to threaten you with making your life difficult.

Hah, he's already made your life difficult, so whatever he has planned can't be any more difficult than what you've faced. So put away being a hopeless romantic and put on your warrior outfit.

Also, block him from your phone, texts, computer, etc. unless your attorney wants those messages from him to use in court. And don't talk to him again. If he does talk to you and starts in on that crap, you hang up on him because he doesn't get to treat you that way any more. You set that new boundary for yourself.

Also, he forgets that a judge will be involved and the judge won't put up with it.

My ex was violent with me and when I divorced him wouldn't cooperate or agree to anything in mediation or the divorce. He was a mess and a jerk. The judge really smacked him around big time and my ex got really mad in court and the judge didn't want to see that at all.

My ex made divorce more difficult, but he paid out a lot of money for what he did and it certainly didn't help him in court. It was wrong to do.

Thank you all for replying, idk what it is. I'm just in a low point right now. I think that deep down I had some hope he will come to his senses. He is just pure evil. I don't understand how a person can feel NO remorse

Most people are divorced now days. This divorce will not hold you back unless you think it will----Then it probably will.
I'm thinking you are really lucky to be done with him now, instead of later.
Good luck and take good care of yourself.

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