Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My wife and I have been married for LESS than a year. We dated for about 4 years.
I guess we both know its time to separate. I picked up and moved my life to be with her, so where we reside I have no family no friends. I worked hard and further myself in my career, and went back to school to receive my AA. Now she wants me out of the house. In which I want the same but being the financial head or the household, she doesnt work, I dont really have any money saved. It truly breaks my heart that this in happening. She has struggled with infidelity in the past and I have reason to believe its all happening again. Shes become detached and distant. Neglectful and rude. Sex is nonexistent, unless she is drinking. I know its best for me to leave. But it sucks because I truly love her. Ive discussed my issue with a few confidants and all of them have advised me to leave. I just dont know how to leave and live without her. She has been my life for the past 5 years all I know. Truly brings me back in a depression. It hurts and I feel weary. Plus I dont even know if I know how to date. I have separation issues, and I never knew how to be alone so now I am scared. Someone please help me,
2. When separation is discussed during what should be the "honeymoon" phase of a marriage, it is a very strong indicator that the marriage is a mistake. My ex and I separated during our first year, We reconciled and 10 years and 2 kids later, we divorced. We would have both saved each other much sorrow if we had just heeded the writing on the wall.
3. You lived without her before, you can do it again. Spend this time working on your issues, improving yourself so if and when you meet someone new, you will be emotionally healthy for a successful relationship.
Might I ask, which coping mechanisms worked for you? Also, I am a step mother to her daughter. I would like to continue to be in her life. Do you think that is a mistake?
Once I did that, I could more clearly examine the relationship. I acknowledged the problems between us without whitewashing or minimizing each little transgression or hurt. When the truth came to light, it became abundantly clear that some of the most essential ingredients (common values, goals, beliefs, work ethics, lifestyles) necessary for a successful marriage/relationship were missing. I was finally able to see all the little "red flags" that I naively assumed would "get better once we are married". I learned then at those little niggling doubts and concerns don't go away, they grow in intensity due to the close proximity of living together.
Regarding your step daughter, I think it would depend on her age and how close you are to her.
Best wishes.