Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
This is my first time here and y’all may tell me I’m crazy but I just need someone to talk to that’s not related or a friend.
I found out after 27 yrs of marriage and 32 yrs together that my husband was Facebook messaging flirting very inappropriate make flirty comments on girls he knew from high school post. I have no clue if he has actually cheated but he was going to strip clubs found out he joined local hook-up sites (swears he was just curious never did anything ) he deletes all his phone log and instant messages I found he had numerous email accounts and he had girls numbers in his phone.
With all that being said he is not able to have intimate relations as far as I know we have not had actual relations since his he had the widow maker 5 yrs ago.
Am I crazy to be upset that he has done these things not to mention I know he took a “friend” girl he’s says he’s known forever to a concert my fave band. He can’t give me any logical answers except he didn’t feel loved and needed someone to talk to it’s making me angry, I’m looking everywhere to find out what else I don’t know about.
Here is the hard hard part I want to forgive and get on with our life but I just found a draft where he had been on the Craigslist’s personals on his email it was titled home alone w4m and it was at the same time period as the other bs he’s been doing but this one HURTS more than the others I almost left tonight he swears he didn’t do it but he’s been lying to me for so long and I didn’t even know we were in this place how stupid I feel. I have stayed by this man through every hospital stay and I’m still here.
Now the fun part he tells me I’m jealous and I can’t trust him and he can’t live like that he left me 3 times and stayed in a hotel over night because of my anger ( yeah right) I’m just broken and can’t see me ever being whole again! If y’all thing I’m crazy please tell me but my gut keeps telling me there’s more I just have not discovered it yet.
We just spent half our live savings on a new truck and camper to travel and I don’t know what to do!
Thanks for listening to me I am sure I talked to much.
I know this is not a drug forum but he has been doing coke for over a year and I didn’t even know!
Any advice would be apppreciated!
I had everything in black and white and he still denied it until he finally told me he was curious omg forgot about him calling an escort service also told me he never talked to any of them but my gosh how am
i suppose to feel!
I'm guessing someone need to take a 2x4 and smack you over the head with it, so here goes:
1. Hubbie allowed you to nurse him through his cardiac problems, cook, clean and take care of him. All the while, he was chasing other women behind your back. THAT'S CHEATING. While you're nursing him back to health, he's also strung out on coke. WTAF???!!!!???
2. He's flirting on FB. Not with total strangers for kicks, but actual people he knows in real life. AND even though it's all there in black and why you are 'not sure if has actually cheated???!!?? THAT'S CHEATING. People only erase their phone and computer history if there is something incriminating they don't want others to see.
3. He's going to strip clubs to see women take their clothing off for money. Excuse: Curiosity. THAT'S CHEATING.
4. He's taken another woman to a concert. To add insult to injury it was your favorite band! Excuse: He didn't feel loved and needed someone. THAT'S CHEATING AND INSULTING TO BOOT!
5. He's been on Craigslist trying to hook up with women. The only time people go the home alone w4m is to hook up with lonely women sitting at home with nothing to do but have cyber sex or real like sex with other men. THAT'S CHEATING.
6. He's left 3 times and stayed in a hotel over night. Excuse: YOU were angry and he needed what? To get away? To fuck other women? IT IS SIMPLY NOT BELIEVABLE THAT WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON ABOVE THAT WAS NOT CHEATING. Only an idiot would believe that!
6. He's been calling escort services. I won't even go into how screwed up that is. Escort services don't allow men to just chat their ladies up. They only provide one service, women in person to companion men. THAT'S CHEATING.
7. On top of all this, he's spent half the marital savings on a nice new truck and camper. Presumably so he can cart whichever woman he picks around in it. Let me just say that your man doesn't exactly dream big in life. ANY WAY YOU CUT IT THAT'S SETTING HIMSELF UP FOR CHEATING.
Now, you husband clearly got a wake up call when he had his heart attack and decided his life was not what he wanted. He's been trying in his own ham handed way to find a new woman since that time.
Yet for some godforsaken reason, you keep hanging about, annoying him with stupid questions, and trying to figure out how to forgive him even though he's not come clean on his own or asked for your forgiveness. To top it all of with you're still digging for information, cause your gut is telling you more is going on here.
What on earth MORE could be going on in this situation? Your husband has done every crazy thing I can think of to hook up with a new woman. IF he hasn't managed to have sex with another woman, it's only because no one on the planet would want BUT YOU. How likely is it he is getting turned down by paid prostitutes...I mean strippers and escorts? Get your head in the game woman! He's playing you.
For you to still be there, trying to figure out how to save you marriage is literally incomprehensible to me. I honestly can't imagine what it's going to take for you to throw in the towel. He's clearly figured out you have no bottom, he can literally tell you any lie, and you stay right there. You don't have to be a freaking genius to see what's going on.
My advice is get yourself an attorney before he blows all your marital assets on coke and hookers...I mean escorts. You're whole life is about to be flushed down the toilet while you're still playing the pick me dance. (In case you wondering what the pick me dance is: https://www.chumplady.com )
PS: If losing a man like this is enough to SHATTER you, then you have not yet begun to live sister. Kick the prick to the curb and find yourself a real man. The world is littered with hot sexy dudes who would treat you right and make you happy!
Thank you for your honesty I guess I knew it all along I just needed someone who didn’t know me to hit me with a 2x4 as you put it!!
It’s ok you were probably the one the that was suppose to see my post and respond!
I never even knew we were at that stage or that all this has been going on for years what an idiot I am!