Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I was married for 4 years. This was my second marriage, my first marriage lasted 25 years. I have been separated for 5 years now. I have never divorced him because I always have better things to spend money on than a divorce. He will never file because he thinks I should pay for it.
So I am no spring chicken and yet I made such rookie mistakes marrying this man. All the red flags were there and I ignored them because I was "in love". He tried to control me from the day we wed. From what color lipstick I wore to what time I went to bed, which route I drove to work, and "girl, you better be home by 5:45". He finally broke me and threw me out like yesterday's trash. Even though I knew how manipulative he was I was devastated. And I am left with guilt feelings that I could not make a marriage last.
Now I am not interested in ever dating again. He left a bad taste in my mouth. I don't think I can ever live with anyone ever again. And I like having the entire bed to myself! I am content living alone, going to work every day and spending my free time crafting or reading.
Does anyone else feel like they will probably always stay single too?
So I am no spring chicken and yet I made such rookie mistakes marrying this man. All the red flags were there and I ignored them because I was "in love". He tried to control me from the day we wed. From what color lipstick I wore to what time I went to bed, which route I drove to work, and "girl, you better be home by 5:45". He finally broke me and threw me out like yesterday's trash. Even though I knew how manipulative he was I was devastated. And I am left with guilt feelings that I could not make a marriage last.
Now I am not interested in ever dating again. He left a bad taste in my mouth. I don't think I can ever live with anyone ever again. And I like having the entire bed to myself! I am content living alone, going to work every day and spending my free time crafting or reading.
Does anyone else feel like they will probably always stay single too?
Apparently you two are not arguing over money and assets so I don't see where this would be an expensive divorce. I have friends that are divorcing and agreeing on everything and doing all the legal paperwork online. The total divorce will cost only $60 in court fees.
I had a horrible divorce where I took him for every penny and it still only cost me $600 (not bad for a six figure divorce settlement). Best money I ever spent!
To the main question in your post...I don't think there is anything wrong with being alone and not in a relationship. I think that is much better than people who jump in a new relationship just because they are so scared to be alone and don't see value in themselves unless they are with someone.
Life has taught me relationships do not last
except my 19 year marriage
I just don't have a reason to divorce him. I think if I did, he would actually try to get alimony from me. He is that ornery.
Another concern! Sounds like maybe you make more than him (since he might request alimony from you). I wonder if he decides to divorce you 10 years from now if he will still be entitled to half of your retirement, investments, etc. because you have legally been married the whole time. Just something to think about/look into.
Sorry...I know this wasn't the original point to your post...just want to make sure you don't get screwed over in the long run!