Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,010 Members
100,360 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Not able to accept the blame

dizzydessy2001
dizzydessy2001
So last night my stbxh tells me that while he was out on Saturday he ran into some of our old coworkers and they asked him how he was and to stir up drama and see what happens he tells them he is ok and that we are getting a divorced they asked why and he said because of my crazy family. Which is a total lie. The people he ran into I still work with so he wanted to see what got back to me. But I just feel like that is BS why lie just to cause drama it just makes me look bad, When all of this was his choice. I was supper pissed off. I asked him why he would say that when it was more his family that got in the way and caused more stress then necessary.

I am just sick of him pointing fingers at everyone but him self. I told him that I am done wanting to be with him which is kinda true. I still have feelings for him but I refuse to be with him again since he cheated and broke my heart, and when I said that he acted surprised. I told him that I deserved better then him, especially after he is going to blame my family for our issues when they had nothing to do with us.

Thanks for reading/listening just venting about how we put blame on others just to look better in some cases.
flteach8
flteach8
Good for you for sticking up for yourself and telling him how you feel! This is progress in the right direction and you seem to be doing a little better than a few days ago. Stay strong!
Missy73
Missy73
That was a crappy thing for you stbx to do. It's hard enough having family and friends involved in your marital issues. You shouldn't have to deal with that drama at work too.

I understand how frustrated you feel. My stbx is incapable of accepting blame. He's obsessed with his image so he can't cope with anything that might make people think he's not a nice guy. In spite of the fact that he's only seen my family 2-3 times since we got married he claims that they're all crazy and he hates them.

As hard as it is, the only thing we can do is put these relationships behind us and look forward to something better.
vawmcole
vawmcole
Your STBX sounds like mine. Even though I filed for the divorce, he has told multiple mutual friends that he is the one that filed. They all knew he was lying. There is nothing you can do at this point, but take the high road and understand that everything will work out for you. The fact that he cannot accept his responsibility for the demise of the marriage just shows you are better off without him. I applaud you for standing up for yourself. You can now move on. Stay strong and good luck.