Some of us, didn't have husband or wife that she didn't love us any more, some of us had a spouse that used and abused us in inconceivable ways, some ruined every shred of self-worth inside of us and made sure we knew we were nothing. Some of use were cheated on and had to face the lies and deceit of a spouse....

...there are lots of people here with different pain. Just because that works for you, doesn't mean it works for everyone.

Your explanation of all the negative shit, makes my point. You said it, now forget about it and think about something else...

Its easier said than done ... people aren't all the same and we are all under slightly different circumstances. I wish I had the strength to not allow my emotions to come tumbling out but I can't.

Ok, you tell me how I just forget about being slammed into walls, raped, have my baby die because my ex was angry I was pregnant.

You figure out how someone just forgets that, and you can be president.

Don't trivialize someone's pain

What? people aren't bowing down to your wise and all knowing words? Your omnipotent "get over it" phrases?

"said it, now forget it" didn't Ron Popeil state that about that cooker thingie? http://www.popeilfamilystore.com/rotisseries.html

People are letting their emotions get to them because it's what people do.

Sorry I pissed you people off. I wasn't even focusing my comment on you. paranoia

Oh, and guess what? My original post was meant to be sarcastic. I have that kind of sense of humor.

Nobody listens to me either.

All running around... sticking it deep in every crazy they find.

It's madness.

Rman - the problem is that many on this site have incredible pain and don't get your sense of humor. From your other posts, I know you mean well, but many of us are in too much pain to deal with it.

Please understand that I am not criticizing you - just trying to alert you to other people's reality.

I understand their pain and their responses.

Lynne

Don't worry, I understand perfectly. In fact, I bet you that nobody here feels more paiin than I do right now and everyday. So don't tell me about how people on this board feel. I'm on a support group website. I NEVER would have thought I'd be in a place like this.

I think it would be a good idea to post your sarcastic remarks as OT posts, so we'll all know where you are coming from.
There are too many of us who are trying to find the positives, and haven't found them yet.
We're not ready for sarcasm.

Rman, you sound bitter. Go take a shot of Vodka. That may calm your nerves.

Rman does have a caustic sense of humor and that is the way he is dealing with his pain right now. He is right in a sense that we will never heal if we keep dwelling. Some people consciously choose to play the victim their entire lives, and some of them are here. This forum can only help so much. It helps in giving us a support system to vent the frustrations of our divorces, and breakups, but when it comes down to years of abuse, that is going to take professional help. Now I am a professional counselor, but for the most part we are all just people that have tried to love and it did not work. So many here have amazing advice and lessons that they share with us, but this public forum is not going to be able to heal the hurts of years of abuse, and to think that it will is to be mistaken.
We don't just get over it, but we all know that, so does the OP, I think, as he is here dealing with his own pain. Sometimes our journals are the best place to deal with some of our ongoing issues instead of bringing them to the main forum. Many of us have made a post and have had people tell us that the journal is the best place to deal with these things. And it is frustrating to hear the same issue year after year, but that is why we are here to offer a kind compassionate method of what worked for us.
Humor works for some. I do agree that it might be helpful to label them OT so that some people will get it.
Long term posters can come on and say go get fucked, and we know that "the ankle biter, et al " is having a moment. LOL. We don't know that when someone is relatively new.
Anger is a necessary part of healing, and using it to our advantage can be helpful.
I get Rman, and I see where he is headed. He is headed toward healing. Many of us will dwell. This man wants to heal, and I applaud that. It may be a rough road to get there, but he will, and we will if we want too. Hugs to all this morning, Kimmee

It seems to me that some may not want to heal. Perhaps people are more satisfied dwelling on the negative. That is fine. But as for my original post, I meant nothing other than to offer some advice on how I control those negative feelings. I feel something negative, realize what is happening and then try my best to divert my attention to something else. If that is so wrong to you, then obviously you don't want to feel better. I do, though. I'm sorry for all of your pain, but if you are going to attack a person for offering advice on how he deals with the negative, then you are not returning the favor in this "support" group. Perhaps an "attack" group may be more suited to your liking. Now it's off to do income taxes on a Saturday morning. What a fun life I live...

Huh..?

Someone say something??

Look people go through things differently. Like kids learning to walk. Some crawl for 6 months. Some never crawl. Some creap along the furnature. Some bounce up and down.

One kid I babysat, I watched take his first steps. He'd run his walker into something, got MAD, and took off Running.

But all are different.

Letting go of negative emotions is the same. Some need to hold on and go through it for a while, and some need to just let go and Run.

No particular way is better. One size Doesn't fit all.