Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I had one of many melt downs today. With all the rain we are getting here I am worried about the water now coming into the house the pump I have does not work and I had to text him, which I did not want to do so he could come and show my son how to hook up a new pump to get the water out of the crawl space. I have three holes now. one in my den ceiling from water leaking. two in my living room and I can't call in a claim because it would not be worth it and I am afraid of them canceling my policy since I live near the water. I work for insurance and let me tell you companies are looking to get rid of these policy's. So my crappy house looks even worse I I want to try to fix them myself but don't even know where to begin. Then I have a problem with my ABS lights that keep coming on, but they never come on when I take my car to get looked at. of cause so he can't help me. And today I am coming home from work and my engine light comes on that I need to service the car. To much all at once over load. beside the fact that my daughter quite college decided to move back home, but wants to argue about everything because of cause nothing is her fault its all my fault what ever happens. So I call my sister who really is great, but she is married and has a husband to turn to and help her out and she just does not get that its hard when you don't have then person to turn to and say "honey can you take the car in to get fixed" in some cases he might not, but your still have someone there for you. I know she is there for me, but its different she can't help me fix things up she can't just move her life around to help me fix my car or find someone to do it. Drive me where I need to go with out the car. Its not the same. I feel so out of control. ok I just needed to vent thanks
Sometimes it just seems like everything goes gablooey all at the same time. Bad new just doesn't come in threes, it comes in 3 to the third power! In one day (fairly recently) I had my washer go out, a flat tire, my dog get sick, my son have a financial crisis and my direct deposit get all fouled up. And the weather wasn't fully cooperating either.
I know you've got some bigger things on your plate, but when those things happen, it would have been nice to have someone to turn to. Someone to help me prioritize and focus. Or just put an arm around me and tell it was going to be okay. But, nope, I had to figure it all out for myself.
I'm sorry you're having to cope with all this stuff. I hope it gets better ... and soon. Hang in there!
B
I can't tell you what to do but I can make suggestions. These are only suggestions. You need your car. When my truck needs fixing I take it to the shop and have to sit and wait on it. Is it possible there is a short or a loose fuse. I don't know much about brakes but the warning light could have a short in it. Have you checked your oil. That's pretty easy to do.
I hope your daughter is working. She needs to pay you some kind of token rent. She could take your car for service and sit and wait on it. If she's not in school she needs to be working. Trying to find a job might get her back in school. A good dose of reality would be good for her.
I do know what you are going thru. I just had to have a new well put in. Boy was that expensive but I had to have it. I know everything is coming at you all at one time.
The first year after my divorce was really hard. Some months I would have only $10.00 at the end of the month. Not good with three horses, dogs and cats on this farm. I don't know what I would have done if a tractor tire had to be replaced. Then the well went out. The repair on that was not cheap so I do know well how you are feeling about now.
One day at a time and start with what you have to have and can afford to pay for.
Big hugs,
Lynne
I am going to look and see if my there is enough oil in the car I wanted to wait until tomorrow morning because the rain in suppose to stop then. I am in NY and we are having our second big storm and it was just raining way to much for me to stand in it when I got home from work, I just could not do it. So I will check that I just really really hope that is what it is other wise I have to find a way to get my car to the shop and find someone to pick me up from there and take me to work then go help me get my car when it is done. I really don't like to bother people. My daughter is working part time and I already ask one time for her help and had way to much of an argument to start again its just not worth it. I am to stressed to add her arguments to my life. Thanks for understanding. I am going to try to just focus on the car right now and pumping out the water and not worry about the hole damage to the house I have to break it down other wise I feel like I am drowning. I really do appreciate all your feed back it always helps to know you are not alone.
Daughter may need a little "tough love." Living with adult children is difficult--they want all the benefits of being an adult but still want mom and dad to do everything for them. Time to draw a line in the sand. Set some house rules. This will save on the arguments.
Hugs! I know this overwhelming feeling--I've been there myself many times.
Glad you are feeling better.. hang in there
best wishes.
I know all too well how overwhelming things can become - just when you're carrying a 1000lb weight on your back, another weight gets added on. I'm guilty of trying to move the whole thing at once myself.. And the best thing you can do is prioritize so that you're not trying to handle everything at once. I would put your house, then the car at the top of your list as that is necessity
I'd like to offer a little shadetree mechanic input :)
The intermittent ABS light is not a major issue - even if the ABS is inoperative it doesn't affect the service brakes. Sounds like the sensors at the wheels are dirty causing the light to come on and off (you mentioned that you've been getting a lot of weather and I've seen this condition happen under these circumstances) Running your car through a carwash with an undercarriage wash may help alleviate this problem. If not, don't sweat it - you won't lose your brakes. Get it evaluated when time permits.
Regarding the check engine light, it may just be an emissions issue that won't affect the performance of the car in the short term. Most shops will check the codes for you for free. However if the check engine light is flashing...that's a major problem and needs to be addressed immediately.
All the best you you!
SD40
I still don't know how I managed to do Nursing school in my 40's, have a 3 yr old, an alcoholic abusive ex and work full time but I did and you will too. Hang in there and keep sharing, It helps when you hear that others have walked the path and come out on the other side! Big hugs, Kimmee
(PS Don't vacuum. Seems like everytime I have a day like that the bag breaks and makes a big mess...)
Make your life as simple and easy as possible. Learn to be organized and efficient as you learn to wear more "hats." Lots of women have been in your shoes and have even authored many books for women who need to learn new, traditionally male responsibilities.
Good luck and hold your head high. You can do this. :)