Two years ago i left my abusive husband and filed for divorced, he did so much damage i didn’t know if it could be undone. I barely made it out of that relationship/ marriage alive. After we split i closed myself off. Not allowing anyone in or to get close to me. I couldn’t take any more heart break and i swore i would never date again. I didn’t have it in me to allow myself the chance to be heart broken again! And then there was Darrell. Darrell and i had been friends for a year before i left but it was an appropriate friendship. I didn’t think anything of it. After my ex husband and i separated he got back in contact with me and we both fell head over heels in love. He thought i was perfect for him and i swore he was perfect for me. We had a few kinks but nothing too bad! I didn’t think it was possible to fall in love again but i did. We talked for a year and a half before anything ever happened between us, mostly because we were 400 miles apart. But then he moved to the city i live in and from day one we were inseparable. We had this bond, this Connection i couldn’t explain but we were perfect! Now in the beginning i was under the impression that he was going through a divorce and it was in its final stages. I didn’t think anything of it, hell we lived together for 7 months. Then one day he came back from visiting his kids and decided he wanted to break up with me. I was heart broken. Devistated. But we still lived together after we broke up and we were still sleeping together. It still felt the same. Then he decides that he’s gonna move back home and i was ok with it. He wanted to be near his kids so I’m all for that... then it came time for him to leave and i lost it. I cried for days, i curled in a ball like a baby and just felt like a part of me was dead. I couldn’t take it. And then one day i get a phone call from his wife. Most unexpected phone call of my life. I never messed with a married man before. I couldn’t imagine why she would be calling me. Low and behold, Darrell played me the whole time, he was never divorced. He straight up lied to me. They didn’t file for divorce until he broke up with me.... if i wasn’t heart broken idk what you would call it. I had the worst panic attack, anxiety attack, i was sick. He knew what i had just been through with my ex husband with the lying and cheating and abuse and then you do this to me knowing. He wants to rebuild our friendship because he says I’m his best friend, but i just can’t. I don’t believe a word he tells me anymore, i can barely stand to look at him anymore. He is the last one, and since that day i got that phone call, i refused to show interest in a man/woman, i don’t want to be in a relationship, i don’t even want to talk about that stuff! I’m over it!! I’m so far from done. Never again!