Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I sure picked a bad time in my life to live healthy. I've always had a crutch to lean on when times got tough, I used to cut (badly), drink to much, just be crazy or harmful to myself. I'm trying to lose weight, get in shape, not do destructive things. Seems like the other way was so much better, at least I didn't feel the pain so sharp.
I couldn't go through the stress, pressure and grief of a divorce and be unhealthy too, I was already at my limits. It was either make some positive changes or my health would just be one more extreme problem on top of the mountain. On the other hand, eating a heavy meal when my stomach is tied in knots from stress makes me sick. Sometimes the ONLY outlet I have for blowing off steam is exercise. Eating lighter, exercising, taking a daily multivitamin and getting out once in a while are the ONLY things giving me the strength to deal with this.
Try not to think of those things as crutches that you need, they were things that were holding you back and weighing you down. Without them you can actually be free enough that you can have the strength to cope with what's happening.
The upside of being straight edge, is, when things get better, and they will get better, you get to feel all the reality of that too.
I came around to learn, quite awhile ago, nothing was worth hurting myself, not even "temporary relief".
You probably already know all this already.
Hang in there.
Therapy can help. Regular, health meals help. Exercise helps. Cutting is no solution. My son was a cutter for awhile but i got him through it, so I do understand. Looking outside made a big difference. He internalized the issues and now can express them - a great therapist helped him and can help you.
I wish you all the best.
There were days at the beginning when we separated that I thought, "I literally have nothing in my life right now." I couldn't imagine getting lower than I felt back then, just like I couldn't believe there really was this possibilitythings would be fine and I would be better off one day. But that day came, and I smile more than not, feel better more days than not, and I don't have the desire or "need" to know what's going on in his life, etc. I am just focusing on ME first, which I hadn't done in a loooong time.
I think the worst part about "straight edge" dealings, is that you are faced with the most uncomfortable feelings like sadness, emptiness...all that stuff that sucks and hurts and drains your soul. But, once you work your way through it, you will be pleasantly surprised at how much stronger and more capable you are than you thought. Hang in there! It does get better.
if you're living a clean life right now, without your old crutches, when things are harder than they've been, wow...that's an accomplishment.
It's one of those times in life when you can really feel just how strong and resilient you are, right? That you can endure what you are, and not crumble.
wow
Do you feel any sort of excitement or pride in yourself that you're stronger than you may have thought you were?