He coldly told you he was done with you , don't call him, if he reconsiders he will call you. Don't wait around either, just work on healing yourself and moving forward with your life. he was clear enough. My husband was crystal clear too , so I'm moving on with my life .

I'm grappling with a similar issue. My ex boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago and already I'm reconsidering taking him back. I don't know if that's possible anymore though.

He's supposed to come by in a few hours to drop some things off and I don't know what I'm going to say to him. I need to decide what I want.

My friend who I texted last night about my desire to text him an apology for not being the person he wanted me to be was answered by her telling me not to prolong the torture, just let it go. I suppose she was right.

I think at a certain point we have to learn to not look back and just go forwards. I'm trying to do that right now.

If you only are feeling these emotions of wanting to reconnect and haven't received any signs from him that he wants to reconnect it might be a bad idea. Don't put yourself out on a limb unless you're sure it's reciprocal or else it might get embrassing. Rejection always sucks.

It is normal in the breakup process and aftermath to feel pangs of wanting to reach out to him. I encourage you not to do this.

He's really been inconsiderate of your needs and feelings: he asks you to "wait" on him for weeks and weeks. Then he coldly ended it with you. The thing is, even if he wanted to try to reconcile, it doesn't sound like that would be a good idea, and would cause you more pain and heartache in the long run. In these situations, trying to "get back together" doesn't work. You both need to go your own ways, work on yourselves, heal from this. If your paths are meant to cross again down the line, when you both are healed and whole again, then maybe. However, most of the time as we work through a breakup and do self-evaluation and growth, we see how that person was not the best thing for us anyway. You just cause more pain to yourself trying to pick up broken shards of a relationship in a futile attempt to glue them back together, like a shattered plate, and it never goes back to what it was.

Allow yourself to grieve for what you had, but also realize that you are missing the good parts, but the bad parts are just as much a reality. Often we miss who we *thought* someone was, not who they turned out to be.

The other possibility is, he either won't respond to you at all, or he won't give you the response you desire. And believe me when I tell you, that hurts just as much as the first blow of the breakup. So I learned my lesson long ago, as many of us did, the hard way. It only took once to teach me that there is no benefit of reaching out, even if you have strong desire to. And worse, it will send you back to square one of the pain and anguish.

Regroup, focus on doing nice things for yourself, actively shift your thoughts away from contacting him, do not dwell on it. You deserve to have and be so much more. He does not deserve your time or precious mental energy.
(((HUGS)))

Speaking as an oldie here, I have broken NC so many times I couldn't even count them. Breaking contact rarely changes the outcome. What it does do is prolong our own healing. Most of the times I broke it I felt justified in doing so but again, I never got the response I wanted....him changing his mind and coming back. It really is two steps forward, break contact, 5 steps back, at least for me anyway. Unfortunately, when they are done, the usually are done. We can't force them to love us, we can't change their minds.

This weekend I once again started NC and this time I really am done. He has nothing to offer me at this point nor will he offer. This time around (remember I've been at this for a year and 1/2 now) it's been freeing for me, I haven't felt like this before so I know I've finally made the right decision.

Sorry for your pain but going NC is the best way to move forward, in my humble opinion. Good luck!

I can't add much to what the others have said. I liken what you're going thru to going thru withdrawals. It's hard, but the longer you stay No Contact, the easier it gets. It's hell at first, but it does get better, especially if you allow yourself to go thru the grieving process and take good care of yourself.

There are things you can do to make this process a little easier.

Accept, honor and allow yourself to feel your feelings without judgment. Feelings are just feelings and if you don't feel them, the bury themselves to pop up at the most inopportune times. Feeling them allows them to be released.

Journal or free write every day.

Write him a good bye letter but do NOT send it. In the letter, tell him everything you will and will not miss about him. Then burn it. You could create a funeral like process around the burning. It really does help release the grief. You may have to write more than one letter and that's ok.

Also, write LOVE letters to yourself. After my divorce, I decided that I wasn't going to get into any new relationships of any kind until I'd done some healing and some serious inner work. For me it was an excellent decision because now I am attracting healthier people into my life. Had I not done the 'work,' I'd more than likely be attracting the same kinds of unhealthy/dysfunctional people.

A wise therapist once told me that in order to have a healthy happy relationship w/another person, we must first have that with ourselves. I didn't listen to her then, but I've never forgotten her words. And truer words were never spoken.

~healing hugs~

If you reach out one of two things will likely happen. He will be cold and make you wish you had kept NC or he will make excuses for what he did, want to try again and it will likely end the same as it is now. My advice is to be strong, love yourself and say F him! It's his loss and someday he'll see it or not. Either way you'll move forward in life and find better. Be strong and don't look back no matter what. Block him. Hugs!!

Wow guys, I really can't thank you enough for the advice you have offered. I am going to refer back to this anytime I feel that desperation come over me.

If anyone wants to chat, give me a message and we can share war stories x