Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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22hope1227 04/20/2015

I know it may not seem much but I deactivated my Facebook and changed my password to something I have no idea what it is so I cannot look at it. It was really hard for me to do but I know it needed to be done.

My best friend just got back together with his ex after a year. He couldn't be more happier and neither she is. I am happy for them but really sad that is not happening with my ex.

I still can't sleep right at night and wonder about what she is doing so much. It's hard to stop thinking about her.

I also was invited back to the area for the next step in the baltimore county police force for May 6th. I asked if I could crash at her place since I am in Pittsburgh and will have to drive down there instead of being there. She told me she didn't feel comfortable. I asked why and never got a response. What could that mean? Does she not want to see me for she is afraid she will have feelings again?

martiniolive 04/20/2015

Hello,

It could mean many things. Maybe seeing you will set her back in her own healing process. Or, I know you may not want to hear this, but maybe she has company?

I don't know when you guys broke up, but wouldn't it only open old wounds if you stayed there?

22hope1227 04/20/2015

It has been a little over a month now.

I really want her back though. I do feel there maybe someone there but when I asked her about it a while ago she said she resented me for asking.

On the 17 when I asked if we could try again she shared that "I'm just not at a place where I want to revisit us. I don't know if I'll ever be there."

I feel it may hurt me staying there but I want to see her. I will never know what could have been. I guess I still have false hope.

ALD13072 04/20/2015

Sorry for your pain! It does sound like she has moved on. She said she didn't feel comfortable with you staying with her and I believe by not responding to you pushing about it is her way of letting you know she is not interested. I would cease contact with her.

Hopefully you can find somewhere else to crash and that all goes well with the police force!

ChiTownBear 04/21/2015

what does it mean? It means she is trying to tell you politely, she doesn't want you to stay there, for whatever reason. her not responding is because she probably feels her first response was enough and doesn't want to or have to explain why.

I wouldn't push the issue and I would try to find somewhere else to stay.

milady60 04/21/2015

The only thing I have to add to the wise words above is that contact really does re-open old wounds. It was the hardest thing in the world for me to stop looking at my ex's FB page, but one of the best things I ever did for myself. There he was, saying the things to someone else that he used to say to me. That is not what I need to see. That is not what you need to see. Trust me, it will not make you feel better. I am learning to talk to someone else when I feel the urge. Why hurt myself? He's already hurt me enough.

dclaus 04/21/2015

@ Milady60 - reply #5 - While this is not my tread, I would like to say that your reply is perfect. How you phrased your message drives home the reasoning behind NC and moving forward without our ex in our lives. It is very hard to heal when we are constantly reopening those wounds and eventually it will bleed the life out of us. I wish your message could be tagged to the front page because it applies overall to our group.

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