Marriage is a team effort and hard work, and it needs to be shared. Your logic seems correct to me that if you are sustaining the marriage all by yourself, you might as well be by yourself. Good luck with caring for your 6 year-old son.

Your story sounds all too familiar. I'm curious when you say he does nothing - I'm guessing (hoping) he's working, what does he do with all of his non-work time? I have a lazy ass STBX who only does for himself or what he enjoys. He logs about 8 -10 hours in front of the tv on weekend days, sometimes more, and 3-5 on week nights. I was with a sister-in-law yesterday, who has a H who is truly narcissist, 100% self absorbed, and has almost no relationship with his wife and children. We both do everything for the family, inside, outside, financial, everything. Living with guys like these has a huge impact on our self esteem, I think she and I started with low self esteem and it plummeted from there. I'm glad to see you're in a position where you're realizing you're worth more than this. I'm sure it was difficult to even reach this point.

I too have a STBX that in my situation (SAHM for 15 years with a special needs child) thought his only role was to pay the bills. It has emotionally ruined my self esteem. I have given all to the responsibilities of being the caretaker...I want the divorce but now am finding that I feel like I can't take care of myself since he has taken care of me financially not emotionally...it sounds like you have a good job? Can you take care of yourself and your son? I started looking at it as if he was just going to be a paycheck...then atleast I can have freedom every other weekend with some of his paycheck! We were married for 18 years...! I understand all your responsibilities...it takes a toll! You (and i) deserve to have a two way running household...it's too much! :) Hugs!!

Hello, My situation is similar but kind of opposite. We both worked and I was also the one to take care of all the responsibilities, the bills, the budget, the house, the animals, shopping, everything. It frustrated and upset me which I would bring up to my STBX, he never really cared. Now he has decided to leave me because he wants to be his own person and not have responsibilities, which he never did anyway. I'm really upset but you guys are right, I deserve a two way relationship.

I hope he is working. If not (and maybe even if he is), I'd consult with an attorney ASAP. You don't want to have to end up paying HIM alimony. I hope he is working and making roughly the same as you.

My goodness, sorry its been awhile. Yes it is so nice to hear other people's stories and know that I am not alone. I try not to bash on him too much and it is really the biggest struggle to not argue in front of our son because he will take his fathers side, well because they are best friends and have all the fun. So when the rule maker and buzz kill comes in I become the bad guy. I am the most upset about how his behavior or lack of has affected my relationship with my son. I know my STBX has tried at times but I am tired of the 2 steps forward 10 steps back. I sit here now looking around the house and it is a mess, not my mess and of course it will not get cleaned if I do not do it. I am so tired of it. BeeFree- I do hope that I am capable of taking care of my son and myself solo but I think the biggest challenge will be the lack of income coming once he moves out. He makes significantly less than I do. I am also going to be starting my internship for my final year in my masters program soon and will be even busier. I just need support in my life.

Sending you all the love and hugs. I am praying for you and for your son. Sometimes when things are out of our control we just have to let go ang let God. Trusting Him that he will turn our mourning into dancing. God bless you