Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Newbie- and devastated

aj858
aj858

Hey guys, newbiehere from Minnesota.  I didn't know where else to turn, so helping this helps.   My girlfriend broke up with meSaturday and I am a complete wreck emotinally and phsyically. 


We were together about 3 months.  The best 3 months of my life.  It was like what you see in the movies.  Last week I saw signs of her acting different, but then the next day it was her same old self. Friday she was out of town with friends, but when we would text something was off. We met up on Saturday and she quickly broke the news to me that she was sorry if she was acting weird, but was going through some stuff.  She told me her ex is moving back and it brought back feelings that she though she no longer had and it would be unfair to me if we contiunued to talk. 


I'm seriously hurting and wouldn't wish this pain on anybody. I can sleep, eat, concentrate on anything else. My stomach feels like I got punched 50 times, my chest feels like an elephant is sitting on it,  and my legs feel like rubber. I went to the gym this morning thinking it would help and I almost broke down while lifting.   I work from home, so it make sit even worse that I have nobody around all day to distract me. 


I can't stop thinking about all the good times- there were tons of them! Everything reminds me of her.  We connected so well and had so much in common.  One of the hardest things is not getting random good morning texts, or how are you texts. I want her back more than words can describe- and I know I shouldn't contact her as that may make things worse and I need to make he rmiss me. It's so hard though because we were always in contact. I know she is struggling with this as well- but I can't stand the thought of never talking with her again or even worse her getting back with her ex.


The last real relationship I was in, I was hurt. I  have dated a TON but shyed away from anything serious because I didn't want to relive that pain- that was 10 years ago.  I like this girl now so much, I decided to go for it and now here is the pain again.


Any help or suggestions or past success epxeriences to get me through this "no contact period" would be much appreciated! 

Atpeacemary
Atpeacemary
Hugs my friend. You are lucky that she was honest with you. Let her go. There is nothing you can do. Understand where she is coming from too. Maybe she just needs to face up to her ex to see if there is anything there. To know for sure that she is not using you as a rebound. There are so many unanswered questions that need to be answered. Meanwhile, just be gentle with yourself. You are young, my friend. You will weather this.
Saroj
Saroj
Hello there. I totally understand your pain. My fiance broke up with me one week before our wedding. It was a long distance relationship. He block me.from all contact with him. Said I hurt him alot without saying how exactly. Everyday is a.struggle for me especially when I gave up everything in my home country to be with him in his. Today I have nothing and am depending on others. You are much better off than me. When you feel you are in a bad place someone out there is in a much worst place than you.
Atpeacemary
Atpeacemary
Saroj, hugs, I know how you feel. Believe me, it is better to deal with it now than married with kids too. I wish I never went back to him after he promised me that he would always be there for me. He never was. Stay strong, and be gentle with yourself.
Mari_0491
Mari_0491
I can relate with you aj858 since i broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago. I'm passing through the same exact phase that you are in. I found myself so lonely and abandon when i wake up and i have no one to text. When i go somewhere and have no one to tell about it. When i'm driving home and no one is telling me to drive safely. I miss him like crazy and i feel like i would never find someone to make a connection like i had with him. I need him and i want to run to him and beg him to come back to me. I want to go back in time and stay in those times when we were making memories. I see pictures of us over and over again and it's so painful. And i think how would i stop feeling all this pain. I never imagine people can get physically sick after a brake up but it is possible. It's horrible. You can't eat, you can't think properly. Only memories come to mind. It's the worst feeling ever. I understand you perfectly. I am looking out for a friend like you. Someone who can understand what I'm passing through. Because all my friends are happily in relationships and wish not to be bother with sadness.
aj858
aj858
Thanks guys for the comments. Araoj- Hang in there!

Mari- you sound like a broken record of myself! I know those exact feelings and thoughts. It just doesn't make sense and I can't stop living the past either. My thing to that drives e crazy is I have a good memory- So This time last week I know what we were talking about, and so on and so on. She sent me a picture from the gym on Thursday and then it's all over a few days later.. The more I try to understand it frustrates me more. I know the feeling of wanting to beg for them back. I sent a text last night spilling my heart- she wrote back and was nice and sincere, but didn't change anything. Best you/I can do now, ,is play the no contact game and make them miss you, Which for me is tough since I am very inpatient. What the reasoning in your case?
kelli_megan
kelli_megan
I relate to this post SO much. I got dumped by the love of my life here days ago and I haven't stopped crying.
aj858
aj858
Kelli_Megan
Sorrry to hear that- wish I knew how to make the pain go away. I guess it's just gonna take time which sucks. I've been a shell of myself the last few days.
Mari_0491
Mari_0491
Well guys in my case... i'm also very impatient and on top of everything i have to see the days passing without doing the plans we had together. We had so many plans and activities that we were going to do together and now we are separated and i have to pass the days alone. I wish i could go back in time and stay in his arms forever. I'm so messed up mentally and physically too. The worst of all is i can't play the game of no contact because we work together and so we have to talk forced to our job. It's more painful when we talk as two acquaintances instead of a couple that we were. I feel like my love life is over forever.
Saroj
Saroj
@ atpeqcemary thanks for the advice. Am trying every day. How I wish he called or message.
Saroj
Saroj
I have a.suggestion. why don't we message each other what we are feeling instead of contacting our ex. In that way we have people who understand our feelings. My friends are so happy and most of them married or in relationship. Am probably the only one single so they don't understand how I feel.
Rouik
Rouik
I am sorry your going through this, try and remember the good times but as some others have said its good she let you know and didn't drag you along for months of heartache and pain. you are strong enough to get through this, get back out there and try again. I wish you all the best, and good luck.
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