Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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new twist on letter writing

tcl18
tcl18
We've all heard that it is theraputic to write a letter to our exs or teh OW pouring out our hearts and anger in the letter and tehn buring it. I saw a therapist today who had a different ideas that i really like. See, I've been focusing on my ex his relationship wiht the OW and how happy they are while I am miserable - pouring out my anger and hurt didn't seem to be working. She suggested a make a list of all of the ways, big and small, that my life will be better without him in my life and carry it around with me. I'm going to give it a try!
melissa87
melissa87
I had a therapist give me a template for a "love letter" that gave you specific steps that included things like "I loved when you would..." then you go from there. It also had you list qualities you loved about them, how it made you feel, etc. Then you write what you're angry about, what hurt you, what you dislike. I can't remember exactly what it was but had tried to duplicate this from memory after my ex left. I can't locate the template and actually tracked down the therapist at her new job to ask her for a copy of it but she doesn't have it anymore either. When I used it years ago I found it to be very therapeutic. Unfortunately this time around I'm not finding much to be therapeutic. I'd try your approach but things were never bad between us and I don't feel like my life is better without him. It's left an emptiness (I don't mean that as sad as it sounds...it's just the way it is.) I'm really doing ok and someday everything will be fine, I just want it to be fine now!! lol
tcl18
tcl18
me too!! I am better off for sure - no more emotional abuse.
loosingthebattle
loosingthebattle
I have ups and downs, but feel that same and know my life will be much harder without him. I don't have a "friend" there to support me as he does. Had never thought or imagined that I would ever be without my spouse. Been told how we are in "different places" which is right. He has definitely moved on and I'm have not.

Am trying to see the positive in this of making me be more aware of how others may be in pain even if you can't see it. Not that I ever would have, but know that I will never let a friendship (same or opposite sex) be hurtful to someone's spouse or their marriage. Never wish the pain I have felt for the last almost year on anyone. There is enough pain and meanness that I don't feel I need to add to it.