Hey welcome! It can be lonely. Do you have any friends or interest you can be involved in? I kinda feel I a mix of introvert and extrovert but it’s always nice to have things to do and people to be with to help.

Hello drakegrad, Welcome.

It must be difficult if you two are still living in the same house. Will the living situation be changing soon? Do you have a divorce attorney? I am assuming it's because one person won't sell the house or doesn't have money to move out.

Please feel free to tell us about your situation and comment on other posts here.

Thank you ladies.. I have a lawyer. We have mediation on 10/4. I’m not sure what to expect. I’m staying here cuz I’m on the mortgage-he’s out of work rn so I feel a vested interest. Positive is I’m seeing the kiddos. I want to move out but I don’t have the $$ (Amanda is it expensive out here- rent) without a buyout.

Welcome to this forum, Drake. I can't imagine living in the same house as my ex but I know some people have to do this as housing is so expensive. If your kids are young, don't leave them in the house with the husband while you move out. Only once you two work out a legal custody, visitation agreement. If he is out of work, he can't get a mortgage on the house in just his name. So hang on, make a plan, work the plan, and do things for yourself, too. Do something that engages your mind, like reading fiction books or joining a book club. Our public libraries have them for kids and adults.

I also initiated a divorce from my ex. I gave him a month to find a new place but this was 15 years ago when he had a good job and rents were reasonable and easy to find. He is a narcissistic and self absorbed and diagnosed with a mental illness he refuses to take care of. My kids also have the same mental illness but they are all grown up now and have to be responsible for themselves. Take care of yourself, too. You work, you have kids, the house to take care of, so do not be a slave or do all the work with this guy. Don't run yourself ragged. This is your opportunity to change yourself and create a good new life. It will come in time. One day at a time.

It’s good to see you and your soon to be ex spouse are being responsible with your divorce price and with your children. It’s important for your children to see you can at least keep it civil between you both as you follow through with the divorce and mediation demands. And on their behalf because at the end of the day it will all fall on them the kiddos (YOUR kiddos). At least the kiddos will know both parents did their fair share to secure their own future as your children. Kudos to you on that and wish you the best in the near future with finding love all over again.

Ty again!!

Oh gosh can’t even think of dating. It has not always been civil. Another brutal weekend of being with Stbx. It was oldest birthday yesterday which was mared by bs before, during, & after. But but the boys were happy & having fun- I’m grateful for that. The ride home & after we’re filled with threats (not physical- more custody/blame) with kids (1 being my sons friend). I’m working on not engaging but it’s tough.

It’s either blame/shame/insults or let’s work it out - sometimes in the same breath.

I need out. But first more therapy and finding peace. And thanks to hasty_05 a CODA meeting

Try the gray rock technique. Google it. Basically you are a gray rock and respond in mild ways, not engaging, like with a stranger. He’s not going to change and you can only change you. Sounds very tough. Make sure you are good to yourself in some way every day. Watch Dr Ramani on YouTube, see if it matches.

Stay strong and type away

Where you go op?