Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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New here and trying to put myself in those uncomfo

Theisland
Theisland

She just told me after all of the problems that i have put her through that she doesnt love me anymore.  I am beside myself and cant sleep and stare into the wall at work and barely can function.  I love when i can fall asleep but hate to get up.  She ignores me like i am a complete stranger.  She is divorcing me and i am beside myself.  We have been together for 12 years and she has been my entire world.  We have a child who i worry about through this but its hard for me to even focus on him.  She did give me many chances i just never fixed myself.  It was my addictitions that drove her away and now i beat myself up over it every day because it is my fault.  I dont know if this enviornment can help me but maybe take a little bit of the pain off of me would help.  Whenever someone asks me about it or brings it up my eyes sweel up and i cant keep my emotions at bay.  I am severely depressed over all of this.  Thanks for listening.

Misred
Misred
I'm sorry you have found yourself in this position. I suggest you find a therapist to help you. Especially since you wrote about addictions. If you use those addictions to cope you won't be able to take control of your situation. Find a local support group for your addiction. These things may not save your marriage, but you need to do something that will enable you to be a good father and have your child in your life as much as possible
Minidogs2
Minidogs2
Misred x 2. Sorry for your suffering.
Theisland
Theisland
Thank you for your replies. I have gone to meetings and different environments and nothing really has ever helped. I do see a therapist now as much as i can but availability always seems to be so limited. The best part for my health and the worst part for my pain is that i stopped doing all of that over 90 days ago because of this. I dont have the desire to continue to do something that put me in this position. I appreciate all your words.
jojored
jojored
It's wonderful that you've stopped using, keep that up! It sucks that now you can really feel the pain, but honestly, it's something you HAVE to go through if you want to come out the other side. The pain will not kill you, at the very least you will survive, at the very best it can be life-changing.

You can chose to use this opportunity to learn about yourself and the things you want to change about yourself and your life. Figure out what things are important for you (your child, job, emotional well being, outside interests, financial security - whatever) and set goals towards reaching them. Keeping busy and working so that your goals will always be in view will help alleviate some of the pain. I believe one of your priorities should be the therapy sessions.

Oh, and about beating yourself up, the longer you stay in that mind-frame the more "stuck" you become. You can't move forward if you're focused on the wrong things you did, or the "what ifs". I was "stuck" for 2 years, it did me not one bit of good. It just delayed my healing and growth by 2 years.
Misred
Misred
I agree with jojored, start working on goals. Having something to focus on will help. I took classes and it gave me something to focus on for a small amount of time to give my mind a break. Plus I was around strangers who were not going to ask me about my situation. How about doing some volunteer work? Helping others is a great way to bring self satisfaction and boost mood.