I just joined about a week ago and people have been great. Mine is a bit of a different story but married almost 10 years and she told me Jan of 2016 that she needed to find herself. End of summer to new year seemed to be getting better all to find out two weeks ago she feels that she put her feelings to the side to try and fix us. She needs to find whatever she is looking for. So that leaves me here to wait and twiddle my thumbs.
She leaves tomorrow for a weekend "for herself". I have my thoughts....
Anyway feel free to reach out. I have written one post and already have people messaging me checking up on me!!! Good group here.
Welcome!!!

Don't feel guilty emotional abuse is so hard they break you down to nothing and it's hard to get your self confidence back believe me I'm still married to someone like that trying to get out now but the one thing he knew was to never ever be like that to my children I'm a momma bear when it comes to my kids and I can't say why I couldn't stick up for myself I think they just get into your core. Welcome to the group there are a lot of awesome people here

I can relate. My husband and I have been married for almost 13 years. He has battled an addiction off and on for a majority of those years. I have tried to be empathetic and supportive while encouraging him to stop. We have two kids together. I've endured years of verbal abuse and occasionally it's been physical. He had an affair six years ago in the depths of his addiction. I almost left then but he went to rehab and I gave him another chance. It was better for a few years but then he slowly relapsed and the verbal abuse got worse. Then I found that he had been texting prostitutes and even met up with one. Of course he says he didn't go through with it but I know better. I decided that was enough. I filed for divorce. The first few weeks were almost relieving to have him out of the house. But he has since hit his rock bottom and entered an outpatient rehab. He says his goal is to recover and win me back. He is very tearful and pitiful at times. He is genuinely apologetic and has now accepted that he is powerless over his addiction.
Why did it have to come to this for him to realize this??
The last few days, I have been sad and lonely. I miss him. Which is crazy because I was absolutely miserable with him the last few months/years. I guess I can just tell that he is genuinely sorry and feeling hopeless and it makes me feel terrible for him. I try to remind myself that he did this so I shouldn't feel guilty but it's been tough. I still feel badly for causing him pain. And I don't know if I truly miss him or if I'm just very sad that things have really come to this point. It scares me to think about really following through all the way with the divorce. I'm not exactly sure why. I would get full custody. I'm the breadwinner so I can afford to live without him. We don't have alimony in my state so I won't be paying him. But I guess I'm afraid that once I get past my anger that I will want him back or feel like I didnt do enough to fight for our marriage.

I have been there and am still dealing with a similar situation. The loneliness is the worst, especially when you want one thing and the other doesn't. What has helped me is to do all the things I wanted to do with stbe, but he didn't. I started focusing on my wants/needs and finding my peace; building back the person I once was. I hope you can find that peace that reminds you of who you really are. Good luck.