Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
In a nutshell, here's my story....
I've been separated from my wife ("K") for over a year and a half now. The split was her idea, so we went our separate ways but have always remained friends. Last summer I started dating a nice lady ("L") that I was beginning to develop feelings for. K had heard thru the grapevine about the lady and asked me about her.
I told K that I was dating and she started to cry and said she didn't know it would affect her like that. K and I would see each other once a week when I would go to visit my granddaughter. One night K called asking if we could talk and I told her we could so she came over. She basically poured her heart out and said that she now saw what she had thrown away and wanted to see if we could start seeing each other again.
The other lady, L, went out with some friends one night after telling me she was sick and then called me at midnight to come get her at a bar because she was drunk and getting sick. Actually, it was her two best friends that called me. Needless to say, it made me angry enough to end it because there were people I knew in the bar and they saw the whole thing.
K and I started dating again and it was going well, or so I thought. One day in November, she told me it wasn't working for her and that we should go our separate ways for good. This past weekend, she told me she was going on a week's vacation and was heading to Vegas and elsewhere. I knew she didn't like to go anywhere alone for an extended time and like a fool, asked her if anyone was going with her. That's when she said she was going with a guy she has been dating for 6 weeks, or shortly after she told me that it wasn't working for her.
After that point, I've been an emotional mess, crying uncontrollably at times and feeling extremely weak. Last night, I went out and drowned the tears in alcohol, getting very drunk and like a fool, drove the 10 miles home. I know that was the dumbest thing I could have ever done starting with stepping my foot into the bar but I wasn't in my right mind.
I know I need to move on just as she seemingly has but I don't see a light at the end.. only darkness. That's why I've come to this group to see if someone can help me right this ship. Any help anyone can offer will be appreciated because I've never felt so alone. Here come the tears again!!
I've been separated from my wife ("K") for over a year and a half now. The split was her idea, so we went our separate ways but have always remained friends. Last summer I started dating a nice lady ("L") that I was beginning to develop feelings for. K had heard thru the grapevine about the lady and asked me about her.
I told K that I was dating and she started to cry and said she didn't know it would affect her like that. K and I would see each other once a week when I would go to visit my granddaughter. One night K called asking if we could talk and I told her we could so she came over. She basically poured her heart out and said that she now saw what she had thrown away and wanted to see if we could start seeing each other again.
The other lady, L, went out with some friends one night after telling me she was sick and then called me at midnight to come get her at a bar because she was drunk and getting sick. Actually, it was her two best friends that called me. Needless to say, it made me angry enough to end it because there were people I knew in the bar and they saw the whole thing.
K and I started dating again and it was going well, or so I thought. One day in November, she told me it wasn't working for her and that we should go our separate ways for good. This past weekend, she told me she was going on a week's vacation and was heading to Vegas and elsewhere. I knew she didn't like to go anywhere alone for an extended time and like a fool, asked her if anyone was going with her. That's when she said she was going with a guy she has been dating for 6 weeks, or shortly after she told me that it wasn't working for her.
After that point, I've been an emotional mess, crying uncontrollably at times and feeling extremely weak. Last night, I went out and drowned the tears in alcohol, getting very drunk and like a fool, drove the 10 miles home. I know that was the dumbest thing I could have ever done starting with stepping my foot into the bar but I wasn't in my right mind.
I know I need to move on just as she seemingly has but I don't see a light at the end.. only darkness. That's why I've come to this group to see if someone can help me right this ship. Any help anyone can offer will be appreciated because I've never felt so alone. Here come the tears again!!
I was dating someone I had been talking to for a long time. I broke it off due to various reasons, of which he agreed with. We reconnected briefly...talked about what happened, etc and tried to move forward. For whatever reason, he just stopped contacting me. I sent him several, various text and no reply. None. At first, I considered asking him why he wasn't speaking to me any more, then I decided: It broke down the first time for a REASON, and there's reasons that exes become our exes.
What you have is a crappy feeling, but you learned an invaluable lesson: Whatever relationship you wanted or thought you wanted with "K" is better than what was happening in real life. You no longer have to wonder, "What might've been".
It seems like not much of a consolation, I know, but you will be stronger and better off in the long run.
Hugs!
I think what really gets me is that if her new relationship crumbled and she came asking me to take her back that I'm afraid that I would take her back even though that's the last thing that I need to do..
You say youve been separated for going on two years.. dont you think following through with a divorce would release you both from limbo and allow you to move on with your lives?
Also - drunk driving isnt doing you any favors. Killing a family wont solve any of your problems. Sorry to pick, but that crap is really just absolute stupid nonsense, and its obvious youre so much smarter than that.
My plan for now is to work on getting the divorce paperwork going this weekend and maybe file it next week. K and I are on good terms and want to keep it that way but like Shine said, we need to get it going so we can both get on with our lives.
I'm remorseful over my actions on Monday in regards to the drinking and driving, and luckily nobody was hurt by one of the worst decisions I've ever made and I can swear to everybody that it will never happen again!!
Again, thank you all for all the help you're offering because God knows I can use all the support and friends I can get.
That's the step to healing and moving forward.
You seperated from K - you got with L - when K came running to you, you dumped L b/c she got wasted at a bar (same thing you did recently) - so then along came K and got w/another dude and dumped you again and now you are sad b/c K took of w/some dude.
Let's start by saying - that you kinda did the same to L - but who cares - what matters is how you feel, not L.
So since the past is in the past and there's nothing we can do about the past, moving forward - spend some time getting yourself together and don't allow K to come running back and don't get with another L until you are sure that you are ready.
If I misread your story - my apologies.
Good luck
I don't think its so much misreading but I understand the points you make. What I should have done is stayed with L and told K that she needed to move on since the separation was her idea to begin with. L didn't deserve to be dropped like a hot rock and I still regret doing that to her. Maybe this is karma biting me on the ass.
K told me that she wants me to find someone and that will make the hurt lessen but I know that I'm not emotionally ready to do that. I imagine one day I will but I have to take this one day at a time.
Tell K that you aren't 6 and she needs to figure out her own shyt and quit coming back to you to string you along then back to some other dude - SMH - I want to slap someone right now - LOL
Also, yes, KARMA is a B!%#$ and comes back to bite us.
But it's ok, at some point in life we all have to nurse our wounds, pick up the pieces and keep it moving. Lessons learned.