I rekindled some old friendships from way back when (like 10-20 years ago). It's surprising how easy it was. I think that during the busy middle-years people find they're social connections have dwindled, so everyone's pretty open to reconnecting if/when a blast from the past reaches out to them.

I also turned a couple of 'acquaintances' into friendships, by initiating a casual get-together (going for a walk or bike ride on the nearby trail works well for me and it's a limited time period of 1-2 hours). I did this with someone from my yoga class and another Mom of one of my son's friends. Some are single and some married.

I know what it's like though. During the past 5-7 years my STBX gradually extricated us from many of our 'couple friends'. And during the past 18 years I poured most of my energy into my work, then family & marriage, and finally into the chores and responsibilities that the lazy-ass-STBX didn't do. So I didn't really have much time left for friendships. Couples or singles. So I was pretty isolated. But I quickly realized that this was going to be a priority in my healing and moving forward with my life.

I will say that I'm somewhat hyper-aware of socializing among a group of 'couples' (e.g. a new friend invited me to go boating with their group of friends one afternoon), because I don't want to appear to 'be on the hunt for a new man' and put any of the ladies on the defensive. So while I still converse with the men, I make a point to have conversations mostly with the ladies.

Just today, one of my old friends who happens to be in a relationship, connected me with another of her friends (we all went for a bike and lunch together) who is married but unhappily and will likely be initiating a divorce sometime in the next couple of years.

So even if you don't end up getting a single friend directly, you may get some introductions indirectly as well.

Good luck!

I'm going thru this right now. I live in an area where there aren't any meetups or many social groups. And most of the church groups involve couples. I found a good discussion group & a hobby club by asking around & checking w/the library. I was surprised that my library hosts several different groups in addition to book clubs. I take adult/continuing ed classes off and on, and I volunteer at a local women's support group.

But its still really hard to make friends. And it can be very discouraging.

Also check your daily newspaper for a list of various groups that meet in your area. You might want to see if there are any single parents groups that meet in your area.

When I first came to DS, I ended up making a few really good friends here before I made friends IRL. I have met three of them in person. One is now one of my best friends & we live on opposite ends of the country, but we have been able to get together several times. I do an online book club w/another DS friend and stay in touch w/a third via email & FB.

The first friend I made IRL was in the Rebuilding divorce workshop I attended. (www.rebuilding.org)

One of the things I did before making any IRL friends was to start therapy and do my 'inner work.' That helped me to learn to set and keep boundaries, spot abusers, and attract/pick healthier people. I know that isn't for everyone, and it was hard, but it really paid off.

~healing hugs~

I struggled with the same thing after my separation. I found that after years of devoting myself to my family, home and work there wasn't much time for maintaining friends outside of the marriage. I am still in the process of trying to develop new friends. Other than the suggestions made by others, can you start a new meeting group closer to your home? Join the gym or a club/general interest classes in something that interests you. Volunteer. People who volunteer are usually friendly and caring. I found that joining a divorce support was the best way to meet newly single people although you have to be careful not to be brought down by people who are always negative or hateful. Hope this helps.

Newbie here. I haven't said anything on here yet, but.....I was married for 33 years. Since I was 16 and in high school. I have 3 adult children and during those 33 years, i was too busy to do much other than work full time and raise children. I have been divorced for 10 months now. The ex got engaged a few months ago and I hear he might have gotten married. An old high school friend asked me today if he got married. I didn't know so I asked her if she had heard he did. She totally ignored the question and said something that had nothing to do with it. I am finding this happens a lot with friends and family. Seems no one wants to talk about it. Friends and family members choose sides. This is making me feel some kind of way and I don't like it. Any advice? I feel like if I bring anything up to the few friends I have, I am a buzz kill or bring negativity to the conversation. Honestly, it sucks!

Thanks for the replies! Never really had a lot of friends. STBX was that friend for 28 years and now that's done. So I am really starting from scratch. I am going to do a divorce care group but it doesn't start for another month. Maybe a friendship or two will develop there. I do church groups and the gym. But i'm just running into a lot of married guys. And i do need to take more of the initiative. I'll keep trying and report back if i find any secrets.

I'm going through the same thing! All my friends are married and really only have one or two single friends in the area-the rest live far away. It's hardest on the weekends. The other problem is this is not a big town, so every place reminds me of him. You're not alone. I definitely relate to your struggle.

I am in the same boat. Most of the people I know here in MI ( I'm from Cali) are married or engaged.

I did find a place through meet-up/facebook that is a singles dance. I know you said the closes is 45mins away. Have you thought about starting your own? Thinking of a hobby and starting a group in your area?

KGL77 I am exactly where you are. I spent so much time being a husband and dad that I did spend any time on me. Now i'm paying the price. She knew she was leaving and put a support network in place for her. I didn't have that chance. And being in a small town is tough! Just like you, everywhere I go is somewhere we have gone together. I just think time will help with that. Weekends have by far been the hardest. Lots of time that she use to occupy with me.
Strwberry - i appreciate your help! I am trying to try some new hobbies. Counselor is working with me on learning to be happy alone and find ways to be occupied when i am alone. I may try to start a local group. Just see what happens. Thanks for the encouragement to do that. I'm an introvert mainly, so that would be a big step. But you know, maybe it's time.

Meet up groups are great in that you share something in common. Rekindling old friendships that never married or are divorce is another way.

It took me a while for me to make single friends especially since I married at the age of 20, had a child at 21 and did not know how to be single. Also, the higher your standards the more difficult it becomes. because I can be rather boring in that I'm not a heavy drinker, do not like the bar scene and tend to be on the intellectual side.

Hugs to you. You will find your way.