This one is a little different as I was the "bad person" in this relationship. I met the "love of my life" a year ago. We have been broken up for about 3 months now although, we would still talk and even see each other once to a few times per week. The reason for our break up is that I lied about several things during our relationship. Some were big lies, some small, insignificant lies. Even after given the chance to admit my lies, I still lied. It got to the point where she told me that she will always love and care about me but she can't be with me unless I get better and heal. She has had trouble the last few months "letting go" and I didn't make it any easier for her as I would text or email her a lot. Recently, I have become blocked (she may still see my emails) but she hasn't responded in a week. 

Since I have begun my support group for my lying issue, I have begun to look at this differently. It is so easy to say that I wish her all the happiness, she deserves better than me...it's another to REALLY believe it. I am moving in that direction though. I do see that she deserves better than the "me" as I am today. That, I truly believe. I suppose that I still hold out hope that when I do get better (may take a LONG time) that we could speak again and possibly be together someday. I do know that I need to respect her wishes and give her the space now, that she needs to heal herself. She is the most beautiful soul that I have ever known and this is the most difficult thing that I have ever had to do (let her walk away). I think about her ALL the time, cry at night, pray for her each morning...I actually wish for her happiness before mine. Until recently, I'm not sure that I could honestly say that.

Please pray for my healing. One day at a time...