My kids are grown but my husband left suddenly. I read a book callled runaway husband and thought it was good. It helped me. It has been six months and I feel a little better. This quick exit cut me to my core. I have good and bad days like you. I feel like I will never be the same. I am seeing a therapist. This will give you support. My friends are all married so I know how you are feeling. I wish that you could feel better. It is so painful that they shut off their feelings like a light switch. Take one day at a time and hang in there.

Dear Discofish, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I can't imagine how stressful is your situation with children and everything. I also don't understand how people can do this to others without any communication?! If something is wrong, we should communicate that with our partner. I personally can't read minds. And my ex was very good at not showing any signs that something's wrong. I know that you are in a lot of pain, but remember that you are the loyal and good person. What goes around eventually comes around. We all here support one another in this difficult time. So come back and let us know how are you doing. As of now, take it day by day. Eat, and rest as much as you can. Stress and depression can take a toll on your body, and you need strength for yourself and your children. Surround yourself with family and friends. I am sending you love and lots of hugs!

It breaks my heart when I come back here and hear yet another story? I feel so bad for all of you, including myself. It is unreal how anyone can just leave their family behind. I just could not do it. I could not. My stbx seems so happy and I have never been in so much pain. Please try to take care of yourself and your kids.

We're all in the same situation unfortunately. My husband of 10 years decided he wants a divorce without even trying to work out our issues. We have 2 little kids and I will be dealing with the aftermath on my own since he plans to move out. I''m at home alone with the kids now and they keep on asking for dad. It's so hard.

I'm the dad at home with the kids. My wife is the one who had enough of family life and being a wife and mother. In August she told me she had secretly set up her own apartment and she is moving out. Surprise! No wonder my credit card bill was so high in June and July. I paid for her furnishings. She hardly see's the kids. And she's a 6 minute drive away, I'm pretty sure there's no other guy. He would just interfere with her freedom. She wants to be independent and not rely on me. She's working now, but didn't work for the last eight years. Our kids are 8 and 10. I'm home now with them. We are all in the living room together, how nice and loving. I'm making my son some french fries in the toaster oven. Prior to leaving, my wife never engaged in family time. It was alway me and the kids, with the wife away on the computer by herself. Perhaps it's a mental health issue. A mid life crisis. Things were not great in our marriage for a long while, but leaving the house was not a thought in my head. It is just not possible. But yet, for some, it is possible. And it's only causes heartache and sadness.

Welcome to our elite club, dues are paid in heartache and anguish. You must keep up your daily allotment of tears. You may either lose or gain a tremendous amount of weight, we leave that up to you. You must have at least one or two mental breakdowns a week at work, more is better. Most of us did not ask to join but were recruited by selfish spouses who no longer valued us or our feelings. There are constantly new members, apparently throwing away your love is getting easier. I love you but I'm not in love with you is our motto.

STex you've summed it up! Lost 25 pounds since September. Had the worst panic attack today at work! Definetly an elite club that I could have gladly missed out on.....

Screw these exes! My wife of 24 years did the same shit almost 3 years ago..! Our daughter was in high school still (junior) and she just bailed out. Well my daughter lives with me, finished high school, finished veterinary assistant school while living with me and now works full time at the local vet clinic while my lovely ex whore lives in a shitty apartment with her idiot boyfriend she dumped me for, she doesn't work so he supports her lol. She worked for 17 years while we were together at the same local community college but after she pulled her shit they found a way to can her ass and she hasn't worked since. Both my kids spend holidays with me...In hindsight I'm finally enjoying my freedom and it's a lot less stressful than having her live here and lie and leave for the weekends "with the girls" (yeah right)...who needs that shit? Our exes served a purpose but if they change and want out then give them the shove out the door they need. We can and will do better, lessons learned! Good luck everyone it does get better!!

The ex's or soon to be ex's don't tell their spouses that they're unhappy, because that would indicate that they want to work on the marriage...which they usually don't want this. They lack a moral compass. Only a decent person tells their spouse what is going on and works to fix things.

In the long run our ex or soon to be ex has done us a favor. I'm going on six years out, trust me, your life is on it's way to becoming so much better than it was with your ex/soon to be ex. Now you will be able to have an authentic relationship with a caring person. I know it's so difficult to see now, but you're going to be happier and eventually your spouse is going to be miserable.

Hang in there!

I am sorry to hear this, 23 years is a long time together, Take it one day at a time and focus on what's best for the kids right now. It's important to take care of yourself emotionally, and for the kids sake by seeking out a counselor, who will help you work through this and help the kids too. Praying for you all.

Yes, it has been a long time. I can generally talk myself through most days but some days are just rough. We have 9 kids.....I have been a stay at home mom....we still have 7 kids at home. A few have special needs and it is hard. He has just completely checked out....moved on with his new girlfriend. The sad this is that he is doing everything he always said he never wanted to do to his kids.....I have lost more than a husband, I have lost a friend. This sucks. The only good thing is the more he continues this behavior, the less respect I have for him and it helps me to move on.

Our oldest daughter won't speak to him at all, our 2nd only talks to him if she has to because she still lives at home. Most of the kids want nothing to do with him and it breaks my heart. Not my job to fix his relationships with his kids though....I mean I won't do anything to get in the way of it....I will be supportive of him but I won't do the work for him, not anymore.

I do have a therapist that I started seeing, so hopefully that helps. This all sucks.

9 kids! You've got your hands full. And here I am thinking how I am going to single parent 2 kids. Hang in there - sounds like your kids are wise and understands what is going on. He will regret this some day - no one wants to break their relationship with their own kids do they???